“How a 20-minute date with a Tinder predator ruined my life for years”

Nadia, now 34, and Harkins, 38, met on Tinder seven years ago.

After a few weeks of exchanging letters, they decided to go out to dinner in Glasgow, a city in Scotland.

For Nadia, the first warning sign came when she arrived to collect him from his flat in Cumbernauld.

He opened the door wearing sweatpants and a tank top, saying he was too tired to leave. He suggested that they stay at home and order food through the app.

“That’s when the situation started to get weird,” Nadia said.

“I walked in. The place was empty. There was no furniture. There was only a TV in the room sitting on some boxes.”

Harkins offered to mix Nadia a shot of vodka. When she refused alcohol and poured herself a Diet Coca-Cola, she said her mood changed.

“It was like he was having some kind of internal outbreak,” he said.

“He looked at me and said, ‘Who do you think you are? Why are you helping yourself?’

“I got a little nervous and filled the cup to the brim. When I turned around, I ended up spilling the Coke.”

“The look on his face was crazy. He said something like: ‘You’re so clumsy, you don’t respect my house.’ “You’re a clown.”

“I remember thinking: ‘You’ve got to be kidding.’ “It was hardwood floors.”

“I said, ‘Look, I’m leaving.’ He pointed to the door and started cursing.”

Nadia said: “I was terrified. I thought he would follow me. I got in the car, closed the doors and that was it.”

“I thought it would all end there, but it just got worse. It’s hard to believe my life was affected to this extent after just a 20-minute interaction with that man.”

The rejection appeared to be the motivation for Harkins, who began bombarding Nadia with calls and messages as soon as she left.

The first message says: “How could someone like you have the nerve to leave a date with me?”

As the hours passed, the situation worsened. According to Nadia, Harkins threatened to “burn” her house with gasoline, kill her, and attack her father.

He also repeatedly insulted her, attacking her appearance.

The impact on Nadia’s self-esteem, which she was trying to rebuild after a difficult period in her life, was devastating.

“I received messages saying I was a fat cow,” he said.

“And that it was a (fake) catfish, and that he looked like a pig, and that he was wearing a lot of make-up. This went on all night. I cried so much that I had a headache. At six in the morning, he was still sending me insults.”

“I remember looking in the mirror and feeling ashamed of myself.”

“He knew I had lost some weight and was going to the gym. Just when I thought I was at my best, he ruined everything.”

The day after the meeting, Nadia reported the threats and abuse to Scottish Police. She also provided a recording of a call made by Harkins.

In the video, he can be heard saying that he would go to Nadia’s father’s house, drag him outside and beat him.

“They said they couldn’t do anything for me,” Nadia said. “They said there was no direct threat and that if he did something, I should call him again,” he added.

“No one took my statement. They didn’t want to help me. I screamed desperately: ‘I can’t stand this, you don’t know what he’s capable of, he’s threatening me.’

“If they had done something at that time, a lot could have been avoided for the girls who came after me,” Nadia said.

Harkins continued the harassment long after the confrontation. Nadia blocked his number, but more than a year later he was still harassing her, communicating with people she knew on social media.

She said: “The psychological state he left me in… If I had not given birth to my daughter, I would have ended my life.”

Harkins is currently serving a 12-year prison sentence after being convicted of 19 crimes against 10 women, including physical and sexual violence.

He was initially charged with threatening and abusive behavior towards Nadia and making threats towards her family.

As part of a plea deal, the prosecution accepted his not guilty plea in that case, and Harkins pleaded guilty to stealing more than £214,000 from the women through travel scams, fake investment schemes and misusing their identities to obtain bank loans.

What finally prompted Police Scotland to open an investigation was one of the victims’ appeals to the press in a desperate attempt to expose Harkins and protect other women.

She was also ignored by police after he duped her in a travel scam out of £3,247 (about R$23,000).

Her story was published in October 2019.

The extent of Harkins’ crimes soon became clear, and police opened a formal investigation.

Nadia and other women who had made previous complaints were contacted again, and this time invited to testify.

Harkins is tried in 2024.

Reading the testimony of a woman who had been raped by Harkins, Nadia had a devastating realization: the rape happened two months after she met him.

“That girl could have been completely saved,” he added.

“He could have been arrested, and you would never have contacted him. It’s terrible. That’s all I can say about it. It’s disgusting.”

The BBC investigation identified new suspicions of fraud committed by Harkins, worth approximately £70,000 (about R$480,000).

It turned out that it claimed the lives of at least 30 victims.

The report sent a letter to Harkins in prison requesting comment on these accusations, but he did not respond.

Chief Inspector Lindsay Laird, who is in charge of Police Scotland’s investigation into the case, said it was difficult to explain why previous reports had not been investigated.

He said: “They were each registered at different times, so they did not arrive together, and were presented to different departments of Police Scotland.”

“At that time, no reports were made to police of physical or sexual assault. The reports were primarily financial matters, and when treated in isolation, they ended up being considered civil investigations.”

“I think it’s safe to say that police have come a long way since receiving those first reports.”

Several women told the BBC that they had reported physical assault and sexual misconduct years before police opened the investigation.

Asked whether Police Scotland would apologize to victims who tried to report Harkins, Chief Inspector Lindsay Laird replied: “I think that is a difficult question to answer. I believe there has now been a successful judicial outcome based on the investigation that has been undertaken.”

Laird concluded: “With all the measures we have implemented since then, I hope this experience will not be repeated today.”

In response to these comments, Nadia said: “I know they tried really hard when they decided to do something about it, but they should have done something sooner.”

“He’s been doing this for years. It could have been prevented. They should have apologized. They could have stopped it.”

Harkins was arrested last year, nearly five years after his first arrest. He was convicted based on the testimonies of ten women.

Nadia received a call informing her of the outcome of the trial. “These women have achieved so much more than anyone could have imagined,” he said.

“Now, all the people who might cross his path in the future won’t have to anymore. What they did was amazing, it was huge.”

Nadia, a mother of two daughters, was able to rebuild her life and self-confidence, but the experience left its mark.

“Today I am in very good condition,” he said. “I’m a completely different person, more confident. I’m not afraid to speak my mind and I will never ignore a warning sign again.”

In Brazil, women who are victims of abuse or harassment can call the Women’s Help Center at 180, which is available 24 hours a day, including weekends and public holidays. In case of emergency, you can call for help from the military police (190), civilian police (197) or the hotline (181).