The phone rang at 3:40 p.m. He answered and immediately looked at me with a surprised face. He covered part of the phone with one hand as we did with the older models and said to me, “The hospital is asking me if I can have a vasectomy tomorrow at 7 a.m..”
I returned the look of surprise. What does it mean for someone to schedule surgery like this from day to day?
The conversation about a vasectomy began two years ago, shortly after the birth of our second child, which was not exactly planned. But his arrival made it clear to both of us that the family was finally complete. All we have left to do is decide how to avoid future surprises.
It was he who took the initiative. “I’m going to stand in line for a vasectomy,” he said, referring to the waiting time in the NHS, a public health service here in the UK. The next day, he called the local clinic and began the process, which included making an appointment with a GP who took his blood pressure and asked him some questions. Eight months later, the call came.
“Marked,” he told me, putting the device back in his pocket.
“For tomorrow? Don’t you have to fast? Do you have to have a companion? Is it general anesthesia?”
I had so many questions. ChatGPT had all the answers.
According to him (and other sources I consulted, since I have what I consider a healthy distrust of AI), the procedure is very quick — it lasts about 15 minutes — and requires no setup. The anesthesia is local, the incision is simple, and the patient leaves the hospital after half an hour, looking very beautiful, and walking. At home, if you have any pain, simply take paracetamol or ibuprofen.
I started taking birth control in my early twenties. After three months of taking the first pill, bleeding non-stop and with a boyfriend who could no longer tolerate the inconvenience, I decided it wasn’t for me and never took it again.
In the years that followed, there were few relationships in which I was not questioned about my decision. “It’s easier to take a pill, isn’t it?” they suggested in the natural way of someone offering bread and butter and a cup of coffee. I lost count of the number of times I had to pull out a story of three months of bleeding to justify my refusal to take hormones.
Little did I know that all these conversations could be resolved if beautiful people agreed to spend 15 minutes with a urologist. The facts don’t lie: vasectomy is considered in medicine to be one of the safest and most effective methods of contraception. However, this procedure is not even among the five most used methods in Brazil. In fact, it is even behind tubal ligation, which is less effective, the risks are higher, the procedure is more invasive, and the postoperative period takes much longer.
Therefore, I have come to provide this service of public benefit and to preach the word about this wonderful medical miracle called a vasectomy. To all the men who read this column and also to the women readers, who now have a naughty hook in their hands to start this conversation with their partners (I suggest just forwarding the column link without saying anything).
I imagine that the suggestion of such a simple measure would be very well received. Especially among the many men who are strongly against abortion or among those who are often struck by a sudden desire to abandon their children after they have come into the world. Is there a vasectomy out there?
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