After 10 years of writing here about parenting as a father, I think I’ve spent a few hours thinking about how we adults now deal with children. Often times, I end up comparing what my kids are experiencing to my childhood in the 1980s, which is now bathed in a very nice filter of nostalgia. I wonder: Are children today so lucky to have everything easy, fast and unlimited? Or, deep down, were things better for us because we grew up practicing patience and appreciating everything we achieved so much more? There is no right answer, but I will provide a comparison so you can judge for yourself.
I start with what worries privileged children in recent decades: watching television. We had cartoons saved for some time after class and on weekend mornings. Following the series from beginning to end, with constant programming changes, was a daunting task, no matter how much I consulted the magazine T.B. (I feel old when I remember cable). For example, I was not affected by a death David the gnomeOr because I never watched the episode. So, it amazes me that at the touch of a button my kids (and my credit card for subscriptions, of course) have a very large percentage of all the children’s and young adult content of the past half-century, always at their fingertips (unless a platform insidiously removes it from the menu).
Holidays used to be in the city, for several weeks, with little glamor and days full of routine and boredom, because air travel cost a fortune, and no one wanted to see your holiday photo album either. In fact, this was the most terrifying horror. On the other hand, children today enjoy international vacations full of incentives and pictures that can be shared on the networks, as if parents are competing to see who spends the most and gets the most children’s smiles.
To communicate, we used a landline, which makes your fingers hurt if you have to call often, and charges for each call. The worst thing is not knowing who will answer you on the other end and having to talk to several family switchboards until your friend or family member calls you. Explain that to a generation that fears calls and can call almost anyone, at any time and at any distance, at ridiculous fixed rates. The frequent dialing of numbers means that we still know those landlines by heart, but today we are in an emergency without them Smartphone We probably won’t be able to remember five current contacts. I’d like to think that no matter how tired we are of parenting, we still have a very useful ability to memorize and retain data.
And in terms of diet that we watch a lot of now with our kids, we grew up without a lot of nutritional awareness, snacking bolicaossugar bread, triangle bread with nocella or pate, usually prepared with traditional oven materials. Our children could grow up with more nutritional clarity, knowing how to read labels and uncover secrets hidden in the dark side of ultra-processed foods, but before they turn to kombucha and avocados, they have plenty of supplies available, making it difficult for them to escape the ever-growing global obesity pandemic.
Perhaps the biggest generational change is how parenting is experienced. We grew up as an appendage to our parents, an adult-centered childhood as experts call it, where we obeyed the rules without complaining too much. Without needing to kick a shoe, we had a certain respect for the adults in our lives, whether parents, grandparents, teachers or school janitors. On the other hand, our children are the center of everything. We check in with their feelings in a respectful way so they don’t go through trauma so that they can finally grow up with complete freedom, and we take them into account when making plans, schedules, and menus… so they don’t get bored or frustrated too much.
Plus, we’re at your service almost like servants and home deliveries, keeping a backpack and snack on hand while you play, in case you need a snack. We document their existence day after day with hundreds of photos and videos that we share with others so they can see how our adorable human puppies grow. Yes, there are still parents who sit on the balcony drinking a beer while occasionally looking towards the garden, but in general we accompany them more with our presence and enthusiasm.
Above all, whether we can reconcile these things or not, we clearly understand that it is as important to save time as it is to spend time with our children. Spend a good time if possible, or at least enough time for them to complain to us that we ask them too many questions about their feelings and emotions.
The effects of this new upbringing may take us a few years to experience or appreciate as a society. So I don’t know if our childhood was better or not. But what is clear is that we experience it as children, which is why we remember it as more relaxed than the upbringing we had as parents.