Life is full of ups and downs. Some are predictable, others are more complicated to deal with. Breaking up from a job position is very difficult and complicated, even more so if we don’t expect it to happen. It involves confronting economic complexities, family challenges, managing contexts of uncertainty, and engaging in difficult conversations with our partners. Moreover, it makes us question our abilities, because we have received a clear signal of rejection.
During my years in training and recruiting operations, I have seen many people experience this moment with pain, anger, fear, or shame. Get it: Work is not just a source of income, it is also a source of identity, purpose, and belonging. When we lose a job, we don’t just lose a paycheck, we lose part of the story that sustained us.
Throughout my career, I have shadowed many executives who believed that their personal value was tied to the company that hired them. When that relationship ended, they felt like they had lost everything. The first reaction is usually to try to explain what happened, find the culprits, or explain it to others. But the key thing is to understand that a layoff does not define who we are. It defines a moment, not an identity.
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The practice of professional and critical journalism is an essential pillar of democracy. This is why it bothers those who believe they are the bearers of the truth.
I have seen too many executives who sacrificed their lives to grow the organizations they worked for without thinking about it, and without thinking about their steps after the subordinate relationship. They did not know how the clock ticked, and one day, they woke up retired. These profiles also need to do internal work. I always recommend three years in advance, to get yourself positioned and clear on where you are going.
Let us also remember that luck does not exist like luck itself. It depends on each one of us. There is a quote from Seneca that asserts that luck is where preparation and opportunity meet. You have to prepare, you have to have focus, you have to be aware, you have to have a race strategy. But it is also important that we have the maturity to evaluate the different possibilities that arise along our journey.
How many times have I called executives who told me they “don’t listen to the market,” and a few months later, they called me to tell me they were being terminated. If only they had listened to the suggestion I made…
Separating from work can be a turning point. A before and after. It may be painful, but it may also open a new door. Sometimes change comes suddenly, and other times, it comes with a sign we choose not to see. The challenge is not to lose, but to use that experience as a driving force to design the next chapter.
Reinventing yourself does not mean starting from scratch, but rather starting from somewhere else. With more awareness, more maturity, and more information. It is understood that work is not a refuge, but rather a choice. Our value does not depend on the logo that appears on our ID card, but rather on the skills, path and imprint we leave.
Accepting career change with integrity is not resignation, it is growth. And all evolution begins with a decision: to choose ourselves again. Because every transition, even one we don’t choose, confronts us with the need to understand what we do with what happens to us.
Thus, one of the situations that causes the most stress in life is job loss. Therefore, understanding how we react to that blow is essential in order to be aware of the stages of this grief and be able to go through them consciously. There are four.
The first is denial. Our brain needs to mitigate the negative effects of the initial shock. Furthermore, since we are social creatures and being fired can make us feel embarrassed in front of others, it is natural for us to try to blame other people or situations for our disengagement. Some of the statements I hear most often are: “I didn’t see this coming”, “I don’t understand what happened”, “It was someone else’s fault”, “My manager didn’t give me feedback and wanted me to read his mind”, “There was a big change in the organization”, and “They are making a mistake”.
The second stage is anger. We get angry because of the feeling of helplessness, we disconnect from ourselves and there is nothing we can do about it.
The third stage is depression. In my opinion, it is the most dangerous moment, so it is important to get out of the recession quickly. That’s why I recommend reaching out to those things that make us feel good, looking at the glass half full, asking for support and activating our networks to start looking for a new job.
The final stage is acceptance. Understanding that the situation is what it is, and that it is up to us how we deal with it, is a learning experience in itself. Accepting the different stages of life gives us the strength to live the bad moments and see them as spaces for learning.
*Author of Not Luck, Rather Strategy. Leah Editions (part).