It was a cold February morning in Barcelona. At 11 a.m., the child developed a severe respiratory illness that put him at risk of death. He was able to overcome it, but it took him a month and a half isolated in an incubator with almost no physical contact. He had two surgeries for recurrent otitis media, but the air he often constricted in his early years filled his lungs with laughter that turned him into the class clown.
“His childhood was complicated.”I think I, like many people, was born into a somewhat dysfunctional family. I had a childhood that influenced me a lot.“Says Borja Villaseca, one of the… best seller From self-help.
At the age of thirteen, he had a series of violent experiences Psychological In his family environment. He had problems in his relationship with his parents. At the age of sixteen, an accident on his motorcycle nearly killed him. His impulses, reckless behavior, and relationships led him to abuse alcohol and drugs. “finally, I hit rock bottom at 19 – Explains – and I started this Emotional search To find out who I am and why I’m here“.
In his latest book, which was published last February. Being happy is easy, Provides a Simple way to Enjoy life, It combines the wisdom of Eastern philosophies with the latest discoveries in the field of neuroscience.
– From your experiences then, what is happiness to you?
– As a young man The idea I had of happiness was something that came from outside Especially in my case, because I looked for it in my friend group, at the party, at night… in the typical crazy things that are done in the subconscious of young people, well, I have a few of them. But external research is wrong. Society has made us believe that happiness lies in wealth, fame, or perfect love, creating a constant search that is never satisfied.
– How did this concept develop in you over time?
-If you continue to search for happiness outside, and search for it romantically, in your partner, with all his illusions… If you don’t do the deep therapy to heal your childhood, to heal your inner child, to rebuild your self-esteem, you project those flaws onto someone else and usually you do that onto your partner, which is exactly what I did. This is also the root of unhealthy attachment, emotional dependence, and toxic relationships, and obviously I’ve been through it all. The crisis that led me to rock bottom helped me stop struggling with reality. I began to choose to flow into the present moment and accept what is happening without resistance, which brought me to a state of inner peace. I invested in emotional and spiritual education, began cultivating gratitude and developing a state of awareness.
The view that nirvana is the new happiness has become popular. What do you think about that?
When I was twenty-five years old, I experienced a very profound awakening of consciousness and began to realize that the reality of happiness is something else, that it has no external cause, but has a deep connection to who you really are. It is a state of awareness and presence, which you can call peace, inner well-being, or serenity. But it’s just about being very deeply connected to what’s on the inside. Nowadays, yes, there is a lot of talk about serenity, but in the end it all boils down to being here and now in the asymmetrical present of the mind, disbelieving in your thoughts and completely connected to what is happening, to make the most of that moment and enjoy moment by moment.
-Is time one of the elders of our present?
– Nowadays there is a kind of Chronopathya disease of our time. He is Inability to be present in the present moment. Serotonin is very trendy and its value is very real, but there is much more to it than that. Serenity will be a result, a quality that emerges from that state, a state to be developed. This is why meditation, mindfulness and inner silence are so important… to achieve serenity, but also to escape time as a tyrant.
– In this context, how do you define the state of happiness?
-for me Happiness begins with the absence of suffering. From there you go deeper and deeper into yourself. This is the natural state of existence. It’s the happiness we really are. It is what appears when you are connected to your true essence, when you are present, when you are aware, when you are here and now. When you empty yourself of the ego, of the mind, of mental noise, of thoughts, and you are truly in the present moment. In that state the self does not exist. You are you, but you are not a self. It is a state of awareness and a feeling of fullness.
-Happiness in the digital age seems further away than ever: we see false or “filtered” ideals. At the same time, the comparison has grown: before we could compare ourselves with a few people, but now everything seems endless… How do we create a standard of personal happiness and how do we ignore the models that attract us from the outside?
-The problem is that we have learned to be very unhappy. To always look for happiness outside. And of course, when you feel bad inside, you start looking around, comparing yourself, and feeling envious. All of this is magnified with social media networks and with the entire window of this society, which is nothing more than a stage, a pure facade, just marketing. We live in a time of great hypocrisy, lies, and superficiality. Precisely because the focus is always outward. We get lost in this world in ways that are merely a mirage. So, first you need to get immunized. That’s why it’s so important to look inward, withdraw from society a little, do a little digital detox, commit to digital minimalism, and really connect with the source of joy within you. This way, when you look outside, you’re already immune. You won’t believe the farce anymore since you won’t be recognized for your ego-centric personality, you won’t have much faith in your costume and mask. You will no longer believe the illusion that appears outside. That’s why it’s so important to know yourself.
– You say that people are a little reluctant to express their joy because of the discomfort others seem to look at… Do you think this is the only reason?
– Take it today Being happy is a provocation. The majority state is a state of neurosis, bitterness, narcissism, existential emptiness, chronic stress, anxiety, and depression. In fact, the word happiness is annoying and uncomfortable, because very few people are happy with what they have. Because people are disconnected from who they are, which is why being happy is so countercultural. You have to go against the grain, because if you do everything this society tells you to be happy, you’ll end up with a lot of emptiness.. The modern lifestyle is based on looking the other way, looking for patches, addiction, noise, entertainment and numbing. That’s why we’re all numb in general. I usually tell people: “Change what you have to change to learn how to be happy, but hide it so it doesn’t show because they won’t forgive you.”
-Why is happiness easy?
The title of my book is a provocation. Being happy is easy because I insist, It is our true essential nature. If you empty yourself of everything you are not, if you question all limiting beliefs, if you heal your wounds, if you illuminate your shadows… if you do the work of self-knowledge, meditation, and building a lifestyle with a series of healthy habits to take care of your mind, body, spirit, and nervous system. Take care of what you eat, and what you think, if you manage your emotions properly. If you meditate, practice physical exercise, and have a series of daily habits that are in tune with your body, mind, spirit, and nervous system, happiness arises naturally because it is who you truly are. There you realize that it is much easier than we thought.