This repeated itself for years childhood or adolescence They are the happiest moments in life. The idea is based on nostalgia, idealized memories and the belief that the passage of time only subtracts. However, everyday experience often contradicts this myth. It is enough to observe young people overwhelmed by fears or adults who, far from closing themselves off, seem to Live with serenity newly discovered.
From the perspective of psychology, this discussion shifted from age to the way of looking at life. For the Spanish psychologist Rafael SantandreuAuthor of several popular books, Plenitude is anchored not to a chronological stage, but to a inner change that can occur at any time.
It’s not the calendar that matters, but the way a person learns it interpret what is happening to you. Santandreu claims that the best phase in life begins when The constant whining is given up and you begin to consciously appreciate what is already there.
The body, personal freedom, bonds and the simple fact of being alive They are no longer automatic data, but become real sources of well-being. In this turn, he explains, Changing everyday experiences without requiring major external changes.
One of the most common patterns in counseling sessions is the feeling of failure because you didn’t meet other people’s expectations. Sentences seem to be associated with feelings of guilt, the passage of time, or comparison with others, which ultimately ends weaken self-esteem and perception of the present.
For Santandreu the breaking point comes when a uncomfortable but insightful question about who you want to please. At this moment, life stops organizing itself according to external views and instead begins to do so be built from a more honest decision.
“The best part of life begins when we understand this Our worth does not depend on what they think “Our parents, colleagues or followers on social networks,” says the psychologist. This understanding marks the beginning of one inner freedom this is not tied to success, age or recognition.
He mental change What Santandreu describes does not always arise from a deep crisis. Sometimes it arises after an illness, a divorce or an unexpected stroke of fate, but sometimes it also appears as a silent weariness in the face of a life lived automatically.
To make this process easier, he suggests simple exercises to help break the pattern of complacency. One of them is the question of what would be done differently when the judgment of others did not exist. Others, write uncensored thoughtsnot to act immediately, but to recognize desires and emotions.
It also increases the importance of learn to say no. In one of his examples, a patient decided to consciously refuse a single daily request for a week. The result was revealing: setting boundaries did not mean a loss of respect or stability, but Gain peace of mind. “It’s not about humiliating others, it’s about stopping humiliating yourself,” he concludes.
Santandreu remembers that the human brain exists programmed to pleaselike a remnant of survival. This mechanism, useful at other times, now feeds fear, dramatization, etc Feeling of constant threat face everyday decisions.
In his view, neither childhood nor youth guarantee happiness, nor does maturity prevent it. Each stage has Limits and possibilities. The difference lies in this the setting with which the present is lived and in the ability to train the mind to interpret reality in a less catastrophic way.
When a person decides to appreciate what he has with attention and intensity, the psychologist says, a profound effect. It is neither a step back into the past nor a hope for the future. It is the discovery that the best phase of life is not yet behind us It starts with learning to look with different eyes.
By Maria Paula Lozano Moreno
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