Ángel Antonio Herrera: Christmas eulogy of his brother-in-law

Brother-in-law comes home for Christmas, even though he never left. Naturally, the brother-in-law is a very Spanish condition, beyond the family bond, but today the brother-in-law is the brother-in-law, this charlatan of jokes, this speaking zambomba, this poet of … the pollorones, this cheerful kid who understands that dinner is the excuse to puff out four cigars right away. Writers, or intellectuals, because we are not necessarily talking about the same thing, generally tell us the common and hackneyed anecdote according to which, in Europe, writers or intellectuals, because there we are not necessarily talking about the same thing, are very surprised if we talk to them about a national profession, the opinionary, the fabulous disjointed opinionator. That is, the talk show host. And they are surprised, and even almost frightened, to learn that there are people in Spain who talk in every direction and who, what’s more, charge for it. I remember it here because the tertulliano is a Hispanic exoticism, like the jabugo or the botijo, and the tertulliano is a professionalization of the brother-in-law, a slenderness of the brother-in-law style. The Tertullian knows everything, because he has the spirit of a brother-in-law, and on the contrary, the brother-in-law knows everything because he prepares the happy chair for the meeting. The brother-in-law is a relative of the Tertullian, and he serves us vice versa, because the Spaniard has a multiple role in chatter, and opinion, in Spain, could almost be defined as a way of sitting. And almost nothing. At Christmas we all get to spend time with our brother-in-law, who knows about bullfighting, poetry, football, politics and whatever else you throw at him. It brings together conversations from everywhere, and it entertains or annoys, depending on the moment, which is to say according to the shot count. He doesn’t give depth or reveal aphorisms, but he brings the wine and gives you a dry hug at the wrong time, almost as if he loves you. The brother-in-law knows a lot about everything he has read there, he who has read nothing. He doesn’t know he’s doing work between drinks.

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