Vicky, the protagonist of the series Envidiosa, She’s not feeling bad, she’s hurt. He is very scared and suffering so much. He sees other people’s happiness as a threat to his own happiness. Society’s dictates, what she imagines are expected of her, and a giant mind that corners her and causes her to ruin everything she touches.
Victoria doesn’t want to nothing more and nothing less than being loved. Look at life through the eyes of others. He is suffering and trapped in his own catastrophe scenarios.
The Envidiosa series shows us what we all have in one way or another. It puts us in front of the mirror with one of the most feared emotions and the worst press, but there are some, there are some.
I always say there are no good or bad emotions, the good or the bad is what we make of it. And Vicky, with her envy, it often hurts. To her friends, to her boyfriend, to her sister. And above all, yourself.
Insecurity and envy: a toxic relationship
Anyone who says they don’t feel envy is lying.. Who hasn’t felt miserable on a day of deep sadness when they saw happy people laughing loudly on the street? Or when in a relationship crisis you see others cuddling here and there and “shamelessly” showing the world how easy it is to be happy?
We envy what we don’t have, with the certainty – which is the driving force of envy – that We will never be able to achieve it.
Envy arises when we feel insecure when our unresolved areas are activated a warning that activates protective mechanisms. It is a failed attempt to ease the pain that comes from the frustration of not being able to have, be, or be what we want.
Envy: springboard or anchor?
I want to tell you that envy can be a stepping stone if we know how to listen to it properly, or an anchor if we can’t decipher it.
The series shows, with great intelligence from the writing team, how the process that Vicky goes through takes her away of discomfort (from painful situations, crises and various embarrassments) to a slow, painful and effective transformation.
In the series, Victoria shows how courage and bravery can be the engine of change.
—I wanted to know why no one chose mebecause everyone else in the world does that and I don’t. I wanted to know why I wasn’t the right one.
– And now you know why? -asks the brilliant Lore Vega in a character that will make history-.
– No, but I stopped caringand I began to ask myself what I wanted. – And if we manage to change the question, then – and only then – will we begin to find the answers we seek and need.
“Do you love me, Fernanda?” Vicky asks her therapist.
—All therapists love their patients.
– But I ask you if you love me.
“A lot,” Fernanda replies and they hug in a scene that made it impossible (just me?) not to cry.
Self-love, the antidote
Victoria wants what we all want in this world: that they love us, external validation. And that’s why it’s important to love ourselves.
The way out is self-love, we ask ourselves what we want and pay attention to what we hear. And that other people’s wishes and mandates do not take precedence over ours.
Because then we often get lost in the social canon, in other people’s expectations, in making others happy at the expense of our own.
Envy is a mirror in which we can all look at ourselves in one way or another.
In one scene, Vicky confronts her friends and argues that she’s not the only one who’s wrong (and of course she isn’t): “And you, who betrayed and forgave, and you, who once again believed the person who lied to you…?” And the list goes on.
We all have our chiaroscuro, shadows and nuances. The question is how we process it, what we do with what happens to usWhat emotional management tools do we have?
No success
Victoria finds great love in Matías, who loves her the way she always dreamed of being loved, who loves her the way she deserves. However, he insists fail with all success. Sigmund Freud spoke of “those who do not succeed” who, when they see themselves close to the goal, become the greatest critics of their own success.
Fear and desire are two sides of the same coinI learned it at university and confirmed it in life.
We often go to enormous lengths to destroy what we want to achieve at the same time. We write with one hand and erase with the other.
“I ruined her, I cheated on her and I won’t have enough life to regret it. “I let the woman of my life go because of a stupid fever.”
I tried to explain to this patient that it was not because of a fever or uncontrollable desire, but because of the fear of finally having the partner he had always dreamed of.
Better ruined than possible? Let’s see if I’m still happy… What if she eventually realized it was a farce? Imposter syndrome, self-fulfilling prophecy and a destiny we build on our fears and old unresolved wounds.
The brain often builds neural pathways designed to learn where things, even when they go wrong, lead to habits and habits.
Resetting yourself is a process that requires work, self-awareness, discipline and a clear goal. But above all, tolerance for the frustration of always returning almost “instinctively” to the place we want to leave.
The exit? The courage that Victoria had to keep going to Fernanda’s office to find answers, or rather, to change the question.
Don’t believe what social media says
One morning I saw a post on social media from a patient thanking her husband for being the best partner she could have found and “the best father I could have chosen for my children, thanks to the love of my life.”
The B-side of this story? A man with a narcissistic disorder who, far from being a good father and partner, is the main cause of the suffering and torment of his wife and children. However, nothing nice happens with this couple, In networks they are ideal, beautiful, loving and happy.
In the session, this woman tells me that after a serious relationship crisis, she decides to bet from an almost childish illusion and show a reality in her networks exists only in your desire and that is very far from reality.
When Victoria or any other person who is suffering sees this demonstration of happiness, she will certainly feel and think, “Others have what I do not have.”
And social networks show a mirror that rarely reflects what is happening. Long live the photos we didn’t upload!said a good friend, because they are usually the true witnesses of real happiness, the kind we don’t need to brag about.
Comparison inevitably arises when non-conformity is inherent in us. And it can also be a springboard or anchor.
In this season of “Envidiosa” there is a – in my opinion – beautiful twist that has to do with the protagonist’s encounter with her own desires. And that’s what happens when Vicky finally discovers her dream of motherhood It was a reaction to a social mandate and what she imagined as a formula for happiness.
It wasn’t a desire, it was his need to belong, regardless of what he wanted and felt.
The plot twists give him the opportunity to move on with his partner from the last chapter’s reveal (and I won’t give it away here).
“The truth is never sad when there is no cure” and Victoria understands that the way is not to compete with the rest of the world, but The path leads inwards.
How often do we lose ourselves in view of what others expect of us. How often do we make perhaps irreversible decisions to adapt or make it work. We want to put a triangle in a square and pay the costs for it.
I suggest you make something nice to drink, sit down with a blank piece of paper and something to write on, and answer the following questions with complete honesty.
-What do I really want to see in others?
-Where am I in relation to this goal?
-What do I have and what am I missing?
-What can I do to achieve it?
-When does comparison steal my energy instead of strengthening me?
-What can I do today to get closer to my most authentic version, not the neighbor’s?
Welcome to the questions that lead us to a little more peace on the paths of life.
Welcome to the emotions that, even if we don’t like them, we can manage with humor, with pain, and with work to get closer to who we want to be.
Welcome to the series that allows us to laugh at our “dark” areas, because knowing ourselves allows us to be the best we can be.
Welcome to the Vickys, who show us in the mirror how wonderful and complex life is.
➪AGENDA. Alejandro Schujman will present “First me, then I love you” on February 22nd at 9 p.m. at Paseo La Plaza
➪Do you have any questions about health and wellness that you would like us to answer in the Notes section? Write to us with your request goodlife@clarin.com
