Abruptly changing jobs, ending a relationship without elaborating or disappearing emotionally has become, in recent years, synonymous with “closing cycles”. Popularized on social media, the expression began to function as a symbolic shortcut for dealing with frustrations, pain and breakups – even if, often, without facing them.
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For psychoanalyst, philosopher and theologian Lucas Scudeler, this movement reveals less emotional maturity and more difficulty in facing one’s own history without filters. “People think they’re closing cycles, when in reality they’re just running away from each other,” he says.
According to the expert, the concept became empty when it was transformed into a meme, ready-made phrase or instant ritual. “Like any meme, it is superficial and does not support anyone when the pain is pressing,” he says. The result is a false sense of overwhelm, which masks repeated patterns and unelaborated conflicts.
Injuries that prevent true closure
According to Scudeler, three central factors explain why it is so difficult to truly close the cycles. The first of these is the structure of the human mind itself, which tends to avoid pain and repetitive patterns, even when they are harmful. “The brain prefers the known hell to crossing the unknown,” he explains. So many people return to relationships or situations not out of love, but because of an inability to maintain the void between what they were and what they still don’t know how to be.
The second point is related to the chemistry of attachment. Dopamine, oxytocin and the reward system create connections with the fantasy built within the relationship – and not necessarily with the real person. “We do not suffer from the loss of the other, but from the loss of the role we played. It is identity that collapses,” he says.
The third obstacle, according to him, is the absence of mature spirituality, replaced by emotional superstition. Without strong values or ethical accountability, many resort to quick rituals, motivational phrases, and spiritual performances that provide momentary relief but avoid confronting pain, guilt, and their own responsibility.
The risk of “rapid mysticism”
In this scenario, what Scudeler calls the market for “rapid mysticism” is growing: practices that promise immediate healing and symbolic closure without going through suffering. “Closing the cycle has become an eight-second mantra, but maturity has no place in reels,” he criticizes. For him, these practices function as an emotional anesthetic, creating the illusion of spiritual purification without real transformation – “like someone who puts on perfume without taking a shower”.
Closing cycles is not a ritual, it is a transformation
Closing a cycle, according to the expert, is a profound process that involves three levels. The first is psychological: looking at your own story without makeup, recognizing patterns and taking responsibility. “While you are protecting your story, you are repeating your story,” he sums up.
The second is emotional, and requires feeling the pain until the end, without shortcuts. Attempting to accelerate suffering, Scudeler says, only freezes the cycle. “Ignored pain returns as a symptom: anxiety, emotional relapses or repeated choices. »
Finally, there is the spiritual dimension, understood not as a ritual, but as an ethical posture. Closing a cycle means letting go of resentment, revenge, and the victim narrative, understanding the learning involved, and freeing up internal space for new choices.
When the cycle does not close
When this process does not occur, the effects appear in behavior: repetition of emotional patterns, attraction to emotionally unavailable partners, emotional dependence, procrastination, low self-esteem, and constant rumination. Additionally, it becomes difficult to make room for new relationships.
“The individual becomes loyal to the pain he knows, and not to the future he wants,” Scudeler concludes. “A life at a standstill is synonymous with a cycle that has ended poorly. »
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