Although Brazil is a violent country, I have never been as afraid as I was at home. When I experienced domestic violence, I hid from fights in the bedroom. When my room was invaded, I would lock myself in the bathroom for hours. Until, finally, I managed to get this guy out of my house for good and started living in every room again.
With the explosion of testimonies recently, I discover that this experience is not just mine. That literally represents millions of women. In the Brazilian Public Safety Forum’s 2025 survey, 37.5% of respondents reported experiencing some form of violence in the past year. In almost 70% of cases, the perpetrator of the violence was an intimate partner or ex-spouse.
And it turns out that a lot of violence goes unreported, either because it is not understood as such, or because of the illusion that the subject will change (it will not change), or out of fear.
In her book “Agressão”, Ana Paula Araújo explains that there are different types of violence, including the most sneaky ones. “There are women who face constant threats, those who are prevented from spending their money the way they want or wearing the clothes they want, women who are isolated from family and friends or who are offended and demeaned by their partners.”
Reading another excellent book, “Matou Uma, Matou Todas”, by Klester Cavalcanti, I understood that, very often, what begins with swearing or coercion can end in death.
Last year, 93% of femicides were committed by partners, ex-partners or family members of the victims. Contrary to what many think, the killer is not a psychopath, a madman wandering on the fringes of society. Femicide is usually just the latest chapter in a story of domestic violence: there are women who share a bed today with those who will kill them tomorrow.
And the danger doesn’t just stop at the master bedroom. Home is also the most dangerous place for girls. In Brazil, more than half of rape victims are under 14 years old. In 63% of cases, the attacker is a member of the victim’s family. The rape takes place in the back room. In the bedroom. In the bathroom. In places where these girls should feel safe.
Home, the place where we return at the end of the day, tired, in search of rest, well-being and protection, is anything but a refuge for millions of women. How to save this space?
First, impose zero tolerance for all violence. And reports. Anyone who witnesses attacks should also report them. 7 out of 10 cases of domestic violence have witnesses, but in 40% of cases the witness did not provide help. If I had been helpful, I could have changed history. Sometimes saved a life.
We need to rephrase this sentence: in a fight between husband and wife, everyone has to take the lead. When there is suspicion of child abuse, everyone should speak out. And we must also reach out to society to see if we can eradicate once and for all the cause of so much violence: machismo.
Who knows, maybe other women won’t be like me anymore: hidden and scared in my own bathroom.
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