The act of caring is, by nature, one of the deeper and more necessary experiences of life. However, on a daily basis, it becomes a long-distance race that requires immense emotional and social management, often invisible. This … is the perspective it offers Amanda Hernandezpsychologist of the psychosocial care team of the Jiménez Díaz Foundation Hospital, a professional who dedicates her work to supporting those she cares for, in many cases, through the La Caixa Foundation School of Care.
The caregiver’s emotional divide
“Being a caregiver is a long-term career that requires a lot of effort“, a lot of emotions of helplessness, of fatigue, but above all it also involves a lot of love,” explains Hernández. Her work places her on the front line of the challenges faced by these people, whose predominant profile is generally that of women, around 85% of those who participate in the workshopsoften between 50 and 60 years old.
The psychologist specifies that the the emotional burden is overwhelming: Illness connects caregivers with feelings of vulnerability, anger and injustice, wondering why this has to happen to their family member. THE helplessness and guilt This is, in fact, the most frequent emotional charge, generated by the desire to “achieve everything” and the personal requirement not to make mistakes, as well as constant uncertainty about the future.
Burnout is not just psychological; It is deeply social and physical. Caregivers must reconcile care, professional life and other family obligations, sometimes having to abandon their own activities. This pressure manifests itself on the physical level with problems such as lack of sleep, tachycardia or eating disorders, demonstrating that care affects many areas of life.
Information and help
Faced with the consequences of an illness that bursts into the life of a family member “overnight” without prior preparation, the information and support become vital. “Having the information reduces a lot of uncertainty and being able to be accompanied by professionals and an emotional environment is what can help us,” explains the expert.
This is where the La Caixa Foundation project, the School of Caregivers, offers a fundamental support network. Hernández emphasizes that with its workshops, the School “contributes a lot because They provide knowledge, information and a fallback space for caregivers, which reduces a lot of uncertainty and generates relief for families.
The workshops taught by Amanda Hernández focus on the psychological aspect, teaching caregivers to take care of yourself so you can continue to take care of yourselfand meet the challenges of managing advanced or end-of-life chronic diseases.
The feeling of the participants after visiting these spaces is one of relief and gratitude, because they feel understood and supportednot only for the team of professionals, but also for colleagues who share the same situation.
Busting Myths and Coping with Loss
The psychologist also addresses two of the most deeply rooted erroneous beliefs that arise during the workshops. On the one hand, the feeling of betrayal if they take time for themselvesa myth that the psychologist combats by emphasizing that respite and personal care are essential for care to remain effective. On the other hand, the feeling of abandonment which appears when one affirms that the residence is “another way of care” when the family member requires multidisciplinary care and the home care is no longer effective.
Another crucial topic covered is anticipatory grief: “It appears when we experience a loss, when we notice that Our family member is no longer who we rememberedwhich causes a loss of abilities and functions… We experience loss before death,” he explains. The work consists of validating this sadness as a normal emotion and helping the caregiver to connect with their loved one in another way, through presence.
When he talks about the end of the road, when the person being treated dies or enters a center, Hernández describes it as a double duel. Not only is the family member lost, but the caregiver loses their role, their routine, and even the social relationships they had established in the process. “It’s about supporting and integrating this loss,” he summarizes.
The importance of stopping and feeling
He emotional well-being of the caregiver It is, for Hernández, “the key to care”, because it directly influences communication, stress management and the quality of care offered.
For those who embark on this path, his main advice is clear and fundamental: “Above all, allow yourself to feel and inform yourself. Information removes a lot of uncertainty from us,” explains the psychologist. He also emphasizes that it is essential to surround yourself with professionals and an environment that knows support in the processwithout ever forgetting that it is important to have moments of respite which allow us to disconnect from care, because “this will help us to continue to care”.
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