Mariana Goldfarb had already used social media to talk about abusive relationships, and has now become the “face” of a campaign launched by the Public Ministry in Rio de Janeiro on psychological violence. The nutritionist, who dated actor Koa Raymond, but did not name names in her outburst, detailed her experience and stated that she would die if she did not end it.
He began, “I realized that I had been in an abusive relationship, I think from a very young age, but I didn’t know what to call it. Psychological violence doesn’t leave a visible mark, but at the same time, now, looking back, I can, yes, see the psychological violence transforming in my body in the form of hair loss, eye twitching, lack of appetite, anorexia.”
She then said: “This psychological torture that comes through the silent treatment, and it’s unbearable. It’s all to destabilize you and it’s all about control. And I think it’s also painful to realize that it’s not love, and I think it was never love. It’s all about power and control and control.”
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Reaction to violence
“I never knew what was coming, it was always walking on eggshells and it was always so stressful to do everything to make the day end well – and it wouldn’t,” Mariana Goldfarb said in her post.
He recounted how he reacted: “I started drinking a lot, because we look for excuses to numb the pain. I also heard a lot from my friends and family that it was a mistake, because it was visible. I was no longer myself. My sparkle was gone because it seemed like there was someone in your jugular vein, sucking it all up. You start to fade away.”
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Mariana Goldfarb registered a campaign on psychological violence
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Influencer Marianna Goldfarb
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Marianna Goldfarb
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“I was going to die out there,” Mariana Goldfarb, Koa Raymond’s ex-wife, says of the abusive relationship
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Mariana Goldfarb and Koa
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Mariana Goldfarb and Koa Raymond announced their separation in April 2023
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Marianna Goldfarb and Koa Raymond had a relationship for about 7 years
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The abuser undermines the support network
In the video, the nutritionist spoke about the behavior of abusers: “Once you have an environment, it becomes more difficult to manipulate you. If you cut off these people who are very important to you, who remind you of who you are, (you) become more vulnerable,” before continuing:
He added: “And this is also another thing, because there is no good friendship at all. They are all bad, envious, jealous and want to be like you. That’s what you hear. There is nothing good, your family is not good.”
Interrogation of the victim
Soon, I remembered the questions they generally ask: “So, I think there’s a lot of psychological games of guilt and victimization. And I also heard a lot of this ‘But why don’t you leave?’ Why don’t you leave? And I understand that because it’s just from the moment I experienced this that I realized it’s not just ‘why don’t you leave’. It’s not a healthy relationship, it’s not easy for you to leave, there’s a dependency that ends up emerging.” Notice.
She also recalled that the body responds: “The problem with this relationship is that it depends on who you are, the way you see yourself in the world, the way you are. From the moment you don’t know what you are, your identity is erased. It’s like we’re zombies.”
“The problem with hearing that you’re incapable for a long time,” Mariana Goldfarb analyzed, “is that at some point you end up believing it. There’s a moment where you either leave or you die. And in that way, your soul dies. And not only does your soul die, many women actually die, right?” she said.
Personal experience
During the campaign, she recalled some warning signs: “Sometimes it starts with the psychological thing and then it grows. We think it’s not going to happen to us, but it does. I managed to get out at a time when I only had 5% more oxygen. Either I used that 5% in that moment, or I was going to die. My everything was going to die.”
She then noted: “I was able to leave with my last breath. It was either there (I left), or I would be there for the rest of my life or something more serious would happen. It took me a long time to be able to break away because it takes a lot of courage, not a little. I’m also not going to lie and say it’s very easy. It took me years.”
Advice for victims
In the recording for the Public Ministry in Rio de Janeiro, Mariana Goldfarb addressed a message to women: “What I have to say is that the way out exists, it is possible, and it is not perfect. Many people have succeeded, why won’t you succeed?”
She also advised: “Don’t ignore the signs, and don’t think that this is the only kind of relationship possible because it’s not. A healthy relationship exists. If you’re in a place that makes you feel small, that’s a tight place, leave. Because there’s nothing more important than your life.”
In the end, the nutritionist said, “The personality changes, but the relationship dynamic stays the same. That’s why it’s so important to understand what’s going on, what’s going on, so that the pattern changes. This guy throws the remote in your direction, a water bottle, slams the door like that, screams nonsense, gives you the silent treatment, belittles you, is overly jealous, controls you, grooms you, emasculates you, and he’s not.” “Natural,” she said.