An open relationship can be a fantasy or reality. According to a report from earlier this year More than 50% of Argentines have experienced some type of non-monogamous relationship. So what is it like to start a relationship after the age of 50?
The “Radiography of Non-Monogamy in Argentina” study conducted by Dive Marketing for the dating app Gleeden in Argentina 52% of respondents experienced commitments outside of monogamy, with infidelity (27%) and open relationships (26%) being the most common forms.S. However, the love of freedom still presents obstacles: 86% of those who tried a non-monogamous relationship faced obstacles, with social pressure being the biggest enemy.
The psychologist Lara FerreiroMaster in couples therapy and sexuality, explained Clarion that “surprisingly, post-pandemic, many mature couples are looking for alternatives to traditional monogamy.” In her opinion, these are mostly married couples who have been together for more than 20 years and are looking for a novel effect.
After I highlighted that the consensual non-monogamy differs from infidelity (it is still necessary to distinguish both practices), the specialist emphasized: “I think We are at the beginning of a revolution when it comes to understanding couplesbecause humans are polygamous by nature. So a lot of people say monogamy isn’t natural and go back to that more primitive part.”
There are several reasons that lead couples to consider an open relationship after age 50. The author of the book No More Cunt!: The Ultimate Way to Love Yourself and Find Your Perfect Partner (Grijalbo) mentioned among them the desire to do so Try different thingsEmpty nest syndrome, relationship crises at this age, physical changes, boredom or the feeling of wanting to enjoy a different way after raising children and occupy new roles and spaces.
The psychologist (on Instagram, @psicologa_laraferreiro) mentioned this After 20 or 30 years of monogamy, people are looking for alternative scenarios: an inner re-enchantment and even a positive effect on a sexual level, because “many people say that when they open the relationship, they then want to have more sex with their main partner.” Furthermore, he emphasized this Sexual desire doesn’t go away Not even at 50, but it stays with us throughout our lives.
When it came to mentioning the biggest myth surrounding an open relationship, Ferreiro was emphatic: “I’m thinking about opening the relationship doesn’t mean you stop loving. Love and desire can coexist.” The second myth he referred to is that anything is possible in an open relationship: “Absolutely not! -rejection-, You have to agree, you have to set rules“.
Myth number 3, he added, refers to the jealousy. It’s not that jealousy doesn’t exist in open relationships, but it is talked about: communication is a fundamental part of these types of relationships.
Among the possible damage that an open relationship can arise in those who are not prepared for it, the sexologist pointed out that “it leads to jealousy, fears, role confusion, harmful comparisons, social stigmatization and that different rhythms occur between members of the pair.”
In this regard, he claimed that one of the most frequently mentioned rules in his office was not to repeat the sexual encounter with the same person do not create emotional bonds.
When it came to the question of whether it was suitable for anyone to open the couple after the age of 50, Lara Ferreiro firmly refused. “No, there is a certain profile. They have to be very solid pairsmature people who are very hardworking. I recommend you go to couples therapy because you need to deal with jealousy, insecurities, comparisons, vulnerability, fear of abandonment and emotional exploration and make sure you both want the same thing.”
Further recommendations from the specialist must be observed tolerant regarding agreements; that they have similar motivations when opening the pair; Do not accept this type of link as a manipulation of either party and respect the rules established between both parties.
This type of attachment is not recommended for people with anxious attachment or stormy jealousy.he added. And he concluded: “The decision to open up as a couple must be made out of curiosity and exploration, not out of want or deficit.”
About The Author
