Detecting a lie is not always easy, and in addition to body language, there are other factors, such as the type of words used, that can help distinguish a statement that is true from one that is not. Jefferson Fisherlawyer and communications expert, revealed in the podcast The Diary of a CEO how to tell if someone is lying thanks to the way he speaks and, above all, the use of two words that liars often use.
Fisher, who specializes in helping people resolve conflicts, refers to the words “never” and “always” as follows: “People who lie tend to say, “No, I never text while driving. » This immediate declaration, without nuance, is suspicious. Because if you think about it, almost everyone has done it at least once,” he says.
Using this type of absolute statements, such as “I never send…” or “I always do…”, seems to give an appearance of certainty, when the expert points out that it is precisely associated with a lack of veracity. The same goes for the speed at which these types of responses occur, Fisher points out. “A super-fast responsewithout pause or reflection, also indicates that maybe you don’t remember a real situationbut rather that a version is improvised”.
In this situation of suspicion, the key is repeat the question slowly to give the other person time to rethink the absolute statement they have just made: “well, sometimes yes, but almost never”. That’s when the initial lie begins to be detected, according to Fisher.
This slow attitude is also advisable to use in the debates» Fisher said at another point in the interview. The situation is this, as he describes it: “When you argue with someone, your fight-or-flight instinct starts to take over, even in a small argument. If I disagree with your opinion, your fight or flight instinct kicks in because your body says, “Hey, they’re putting me down,” your mind says, “Hey, I don’t like that.” I’m going to hurt you, I mean something that’s going to hurt you or we’re running away from the situation. »
To try to stop this escalating situation, the first step is to breathe. “It all starts with your breathing“, says Fisher. “It’s what we call a physiological sigh,” continues the lawyer, which consists of inhaling air “for two seconds through the nose, one more upwards” and then also exhaling through the nose, so that it helps to relax.
“Whenever someone tells you something you don’t agree with, this is your resource before you say your first word,” he explains, “because this will ensure that that fight-or-flight response never happens. “It keeps the analytical and logical side present at all times.”
With breathing it goes hand in hand the breakwhich helps you think about a question, consider it, and, based on it, choose an answer, because “it means you’re listening,” and the other person interprets it that way, Fisher says.