With the proximity of the partiesMany people have to decide who they want to share this with Christmas Eve and the New Year. Some are trying to make arrangements to reunite with family, while others have to manage these dates on their own and have an experience unwanted loneliness which can increase sadness and affect mood.
Why those loneliness It is usually perceived with greater intensity this time?
Patricia O’DonnellPsychiatrist and psychoanalyst, member of the Argentine Psychoanalytic Association (APA) and the International Psychoanalytic Association (IPA), pointed out Infobae that creates the festive atmosphere chic that everything is joy, encounters, gifts and happiness, a theme that is also present in Christmas films.
“Two classics are very clear: Ebenezer Scrooge (A Christmas storyby Charles Dickens) and The Grinch (Dr. Seuss). In both cases Christmas rotates unbearable Because reactivates defects: Warmth, love, belonging and important bonds, but also old suffering, abandonment, rejection, marginalization and loneliness. The image of a Christmas full of joy and togetherness can awaken negative feelingsDiscomfort due to the good that the other person may have, which in turn reinforces that Isolation and grief” said the psychiatrist.
And he emphasized: “Both stories express the possibility of change by seeing and accepting each one for who they are.” forgive and be forgiven. No one is doomed to remain in their pain. The Christmas spirit goes beyond the religious Union, love, generosity and gratitude, this final antidote to envy. Wake one up Hopeit is never too late to change and live a more fulfilling life and find a way to spend the holidays as best as possible with all the affections, memories, etc. that they contain. Hope and trust in the existence of good “They help to overcome the great adversities of life,” said the expert.
Gabriela Martinez Castro (MN 18627), a psychology graduate and director of the Center for Specialized Studies in Anxiety Disorders (CEETA), explained Infobae that loneliness is usually perceived with greater weight at Christmas and New Year’s Eve combination emotional, social and symbolic factors. “It’s not an exaggerated sensitivity; a fairly common human reaction“, he emphasized.
One of the main reasons, according to Martínez Castro, is the There are very high social expectations associated with these holidays. “There are many messages about united families, love, full tables, laughter and happy couples. If the personal reality far from this ideal, Comparison hurts more than at other times of the year.”
The experts pointed out that there are several reasons for this increase feelings of loneliness, helplessness and Pain during the holidays.
“One factor that has an influence is that Rituals that mark absences”said Martinez Castro. “The table, the toast or the midnight greeting make clearer the lack of those who are no longer here due to death, separation, distance or change in ties. The absence becomes concrete and almost physical.”he emphasized.
It also influences emotional balance. “The end of the year, usually without permission, is inviting Think about what was not achievedin what was lost, in the connections that did not flourish. This compensation, carried out in solitude, usually reinforces the feeling of Shortage. Over the course of the year There are routines, obligations and noise. During the holidays everything stops a little and in that sense Postponed emotions such as lonelinessMartínez described Castro.
He made that clear Loneliness is not just the absence of company. “Many people feel alone, even when they are surrounded by people. What matters is not the lack of people, but that Lack of real and deep connection, of feeling chosen, seen or understood“.
For O’Donnell, loneliness is a subjective experience; Every single person can feel it, even surrounded by family, friends and loved ones. “Although loneliness is part of the human condition and to a certain extent inevitable and necessarysometimes it generates a lot suffer. Sometimes the losses and sadness that characterize these days make loneliness difficult to bear. There is no substitute for human encounters. In these cases Strengthen friendship can have a supportive and relieving effect. There are meetings that break isolation and generate enthusiasm,” he noted.
Martínez Castro added that There is a mandate to be healthy. “There is one Pressure implicitly for happiness, for gratitude, just because it’s Christmas or New Year’s Eve. If this emotion doesn’t occur, the Shame and guiltwhich makes loneliness worse.”
The specialist noted: “Being alone during the holidays does not mean that life is empty and will always be so. Often it is a stageA duel Silence or a moment transition“.
The experts gave the following recommendations to spend these holidays.
Do not demand happiness and do not fulfill other people’s rituals. “Being alone doesn’t always mean surrounding yourself with people, but feeling accompanied in a way that doesn’t hurt. For example, lowering the demands. We don’t have to force ourselves to feel gratitude or happiness or to fulfill rituals that don’t represent us. Allowing ourselves to feel what you feel is already an important relief,” said Martínez Castro.
Redefine the ritual, don’t cancel it, but transform it. “Rituals help give meaning. We can create our own rituals, such as a special meal, lighting a candle for what we are finishing and another for what we want, writing a letter we don’t want to send, or taking a conscious night walk. It’s not about escaping the date, it’s making it livable,” said Martínez Castro.
Making contacts, even on a small scale, also helps to cope with loneliness during the holidays. “Large meetings are not necessary. An honest message to someone, a quick video call, sharing something simple like a recipe, a song or a photo. Authentic connection, even if minimal, protects more than quantity,” said the psychologist.
Appeal to art, music, reading and poetry. “Culture plays a key role as a balm for psychological survival and is essential to get through difficult times. Which painting or reading would we choose to save us from feelings of loneliness or promote a creative moment?” O’Donnell asked.
In order not to let loneliness overwhelm you, it is important to pay attention to your inner dialogue. “It’s common to think, ‘I should get better, there’s something wrong with me’. But you can turn it into ‘I’m going through a moment, this too will pass.’ Self-compassion reduces inner loneliness, which is the most difficult,” recommended Martínez Castro.
Engaging in meaningful activities, not out of obligation, can provide well-being and calm. “Helping, caring for a living being, cooking for someone, writing, accompanying a pet… All of this gives meaning and peace far more than mere distraction,” explained Martínez Castro.
Experiencing other experiences can also be healingsaid O’Donnell. “Some travel alone, with friends or family, in search of a deep personal experience, typical of the climate of these days, to strengthen the chosen bonds or to come into closer contact with family, which also leads to an inner change.”
The specialist concluded: “The best Christmas tree I saw was one next to a dumpster assembled from rubbish by anonymous authors. A triumph of aesthetics and beauty beyond material possibilities.” “Hope for a view that gives value and existence to all”.
For his part, Martinez Castro Finally he emphasized: “Feeling alone does not define a person’s worth or anticipate the future. Many people are just like us, but in silence.”.
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