Alejandro Castaneda
afcastab@gmail.com
WELL EQUIPPED GUARDS.- The sexy video of the exhibitionist police officer could be the tortuous example of a public force that needs reinforcements everywhere. Nicola V., the protagonist of this story, was taught at the academy that the police have a duty to be seen well in society. The girl, now separated from law enforcement, explained that she earns ten times more from her photos than from distribution. And she adds that her collection improved significantly when she went out in police gear and warns that she is well equipped to respond to any incident.
OATHS.- And what can you tell me about the daring and extravagant oaths recited by the new MPs taking office? Although this Constitution and this Congressional Bible are fed up with so many distorted oaths, the future will certainly exacerbate this performative image of poorly interpreted theater. They swear by so many things that they forget to thank the people who voted for them. The list of proper names leaves out the usual “for God and for the country,” because their saints contain those little angels who led them to this temple of democracy, where earthly miracles are the order of the day.
OPEN MICROPHONE.- In these venues full of exaggeration, all you hear is what the microphones accidentally open let through. There is a long chapter that collects the most memorable blunders. This time the protagonist of the nonsense was the veteran deputy Gerardo Cipolini, an octogenarian voyeur who served as President of the Chamber of Deputies at the event. And there he decided to comment on the good health of some new congressmen. The entire venue heard, “This Peruca is good.” When warned of such a mistake, Cipolini resorted to the excuse most used from then on: “I didn’t say anything like that, I am a father and grandfather (Copyright Alperovich)”; For him, it was the slimy, fawning technology that skips all jurisdictions and puts inappropriate phrases in everyone’s mouths. Not even the youngest of his grandchildren believed him.
DEADLY SELFIES.- Leticia Lembi, 33, committed suicide on the beach because she took a selfie in a dangerous place. It was in the Barranca de Los Lobos where these huge cliffs seem to attract the daring and the desperate. It’s a landscape with a lot of death at the top. Leticia is not the first and will not be the last tourist to lose her life because she wants to achieve a risky image. A study by the iO Foundation, which specializes in tropical and travel medicine, warns of the deadly power of selfies, which are already much deadlier than shark attacks. According to the study data, one person dies every 13 days while trying to take the most eye-catching selfie. The work highlights that the main cause of death related to selfies is falls from heights. And the average age is 24 years. This reckless girl never imagined that she would end up writing in the Book of the Unimaginable the sad feat of giving up life for a deadly souvenir.
GUARANGAS COWS.- There are so many lawmakers who like to brag that more than one crazy project has popped up. In this example of absurdities, the initiative of the provincial deputy Lucia Klug, who proposes to charge the Gauchaje for flatulence and belching of cows, is a point difficult to overcome. If this project goes ahead, the poorly trained ranchers will have to let their beards rest, although they will first have to appoint inspectors who are familiar with annoying noises and smells in order to invoice the stupid and farting ranch. And the poor cows have to pay taxes not only in butcher shops, calf shops and dairies, but also in the courts. The Chinese, who even do business with bats, are aware of these events. That’s why a few months ago they wanted to occupy the rare earths, of which there are plenty here. And now hearing about the belching and collecting of gases, they advanced towards Vaca Muerta, assuming that the surviving farts were not collectable.
They want to charge farmers for gas and burping of their misbehaving cows
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