Meetings, friendly encounters, meals, trips… and at the epicenter of the celebrations, excesses, basically, with food and drink. Vacation involves a lot of social demands and clichésand also result in guilt in most cases. How does it appear? What is the true mission of this emotion? Can we control it?
We interviewed Laura Salcedo Martí, psychologist specializing in eating disorders and care manager at Lonvital, who told us that “guilt plays a central and very damaging role at Christmas tables, especially when eating ceases to be a social and pleasant act and becomes a source of demands and vigilance.” We delve deeper into this with the help of the expert.
“Guilt doesn’t only appear when you have ‘eaten too much’”
Guilt, according to experts, causes a series of unhealthy internal conflicts, in their different contexts. Because, as Salcedo explains, “it doesn’t just appear after “eating too much,” but It usually starts before you even sit down at the table. “And guilt is fueled by deeply held beliefs about weight, health, and control: the idea that you have to behave, not overdo it, compensate, restrict, or be willful.”
From there arises a problem, because “these beliefs, acquired through education, diet culture and constant comments about food and the body, mean that many people experience these dates with fear instead of pleasure. “When rigid, restrictive and inflexible diets are followed, Christmas is experienced as a threat.”
Leaving the pre-established plan is interpreted as failure, as not doing the right or healthy thing. “This feeling generates guilt for eating more, for eating certain foods or simply for treating yourself. And this guilt does not stop there: it pushes compensations (not having breakfast, eating less before, promising to do it again afterwards)), increases emotional discomfort and disconnects the person from the present moment and the company.”
“Guilt encourages excess, creating a vicious circle that is difficult to break”
Paradoxically, “guilt and restriction often worsen the relationship with food. By trying to control too much, you’re more likely to end up eating more at social meals. lose control or even binge. Thus, guilt does not prevent “excesses”, but promotes them, creating a circle that is difficult to break,” explains the expert.
And he adds: “Christmas is not only difficult because of the food, but also because of the comments on the body, image or food that usually appears during meetings. Although there is often no bad intention, these words generate vigilance, doubts and insecurity. Taking care of yourself on these dates also means protecting yourself from these messages and remembering that the center of Christmas is the encounter, not the body.”
In short, at Christmas tables, “guilt acts as a filter that prevents pleasure, generates anxiety, encourages restriction and compensation, and displaces what is important…connection, celebration and sharing— through a constant struggle with food and with oneself.
“Compensating when there has been an excess is never the solution”
“No, compensating is never the solution. Stopping dinner, skipping meals or eliminating meals in order to “balance” what you have eaten does not help regulate weight or your relationship with food. On the contrary, disrupts nutritional balance and unbalances hunger and satiety signals” explains the psychologist.
Compensations can appear before or after eating: not having breakfast because there is an important meal, or not having dinner because you have eaten more than usual. This attempt to control daily consumption generally results in more anxiety, more hunger and greater disconnection from the body. “Far from preventing the lack of control, it encourages it.”
We are talking, at this point, about the restriction-binge cycle. “When it is restricted, The body goes into alert in the face of shortage. Physical hunger intensifies and, over time, turns into anxiety about eating. When this tension cannot be sustained, unregulated eating appears: we eat faster, in greater quantities and with less ability to listen to the body’s real needs. This is usually followed by guilt, which again pushes to compensate and restart the cycle. »
“Neither control calories nor eliminate foods: we must change course”
From a nutritional point of view, the body does not function like a calculator that “corrects” itself by skipping the next meal. “More abundant occasional intake does not determine body weight when you stop eating as compensation. In this case, the body receives a message of insecurity, which alters hormonal signals of hunger and satiety and increases the risk of overeating later. »
So the most regulating thing after eating a lot is not to compensate, “but to return to your usual diet, to eat regularly and to constantly provide the body with sufficient energy. Regularity, not rigid control, is what promotes self-regulation, “It reduces anxiety and helps break the cycle of restrictions and bingeing.”
Enjoying the Christmas holidays from a nutritional point of view “does not involve controlling calories or restricting foods, but rather a change in focus. Scientific evidence supports that mindful, focused eating listen to the body and enjoy, “This promotes both physical health and emotional well-being.”
Enjoy food, maintaining nutritional balance
Before eating, pausing to identify your hunger level helps regulate the amount of food you consume naturally. During festive meals, where there are many dishes to share, it is common to get carried away by external signals or anxiety. “However, the loan Pay attention to internal signals of hunger and fullness It allows you to enjoy without excess or subsequent discomfort. “Eating slowly and drinking water during the meal facilitates the proper functioning of hormonal satiety mechanisms.”
Laura Salcedo reminds us that “it is worth remembering that the true value of these meals is not in “not overdoing it”, but in the encounter: the conversation, the connection and the pleasure of company. When the focus shifts from control to shared experience, food takes its natural place and Christmas is experienced with greater well-being and pleasure. »
Listening to your body is essential: before and during meals, being attentive to physical signals of hunger and satiety allows you to naturally regulate your intake. “Eat slowly, take short breaks and drink water during the meal It aids digestion and allows the body to identify when it is full. That, and take care of the internal dialogue. “Thoughts like ‘I shouldn’t’ or ‘I can’t’ tend to increase anxiety and lack of control.”
This way we can avoid guilt…and free ourselves
Guilt is often generated by external standards, “especially those linked to weight loss or a rigid idea of “good nutrition”. constant restriction and messages of “this is good and this is bad”, “Any dietary decision can trigger thoughts of error or failure.”
These thoughts do not appear overnight, but are built over time “from personal, social and family beliefs. There is therefore no magic trick to eliminate them. Reducing guilt requires nutritional education and previously worked emotional tools. The starting point is the internal dialogue, often automatic and unconscious. The work is not about attacking yourself, but about questioning those thoughts, responding to them, and making room for a softer, more flexible voice. »
If the goal is to lose weight, a single meal does not ruin everything: it is not a failure or a “starting again”. “There are no foods that, if consumed occasionally, will harm your weight or your health. The all-or-nothing approach is the result of rigid diets and rules, not a balanced diet. “Speaking kindly, accepting imperfection, and letting go of excessive responsibility allows us to approach food as a place of care, not guilt.”
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