Reply with an emoji, leave it as “seen” or simply disappear without explanation: the Soft shadows It has been imposed as an increasingly frequent way to break off relationships without fully assuming it. It may seem harmless, but behind that subtle distance there are deep emotional implications.
Unlike ghosting — when someone suddenly cuts off all contact — this trend indicates a time when interaction remains active, but only slightly. intermittentwith small signs of life such as short replies or “likes”.
“You can think of it as a passive-aggressive way to disappear“, explains psychologist Ana Paula Rivadero, who specializes in clinics for young people Clarion. “By remaining silent – a way of disappearing and making the other person disappear as well – it can be unsettling and distressing for those in front of us.”
Although the term seems new, the specialist explains this This is not a recent phenomenon.“Perhaps, unlike before, we have been able to put a name to this thing that has been happening for some time in relationships. Likewise, it is noticeable how it has increased over time, Especially in love relationships“.
He warns: “Instead of avoiding conflict, it tends to intensify it; It is not something hidden, quite the opposite. “It is a clear and powerful act in itself to disappear from another person’s life.”
As for whether it can be considered a form of Emotional manipulationThe psychologist points out that this depends on each case. “Sometimes we find ourselves confronted with behaviors with marked attempts to trap and hold the other within this dynamic of interdependence. At other times, we simply encounter themes with Little possibility of expressing what they want in wordsOr thought or need, which generates extreme confusion and discomfort.
The emotional impact is usually “very harmful to those waiting for a response and on the other hand there is silence or brief appearances.” As he explains, people who suffer from it often get trapped in cycles of questioning: Am I the one who didn’t like it? Did I say something out of place? Is it over forever?
“These types of unanswered questions generate discomfort and frustration, and become stressful for those who experience them. Even if this tends to recur over time, It can result in reluctance and a significant lack of motivation to develop and explore future connectionsRivadero says.
He adds that social media networks encourage this type of gradual disappearance:The monitors suggest using them on demand and convenience. When we want, we show up; And when we don’t we stay hidden. We also have the option to “Block” if we don’t want to know anything about the other or for the other to not know about us.
He explains that the possibility of removing the “visible” or connections “in some cases works as an attempt to generate intimacy, but in other cases the opposite happens.”
If someone feels that they are being stopped little by little, the first step is not to insist, but to stop and notice how they feel in this regard. “It’s very important to be able to set aside a reasonable amount of time to do this Think about how we feel when we are in contact with this other Under this method he proposes to us, to take the necessary measures from there,” suggests Rivadero.
The psychologist warns that expecting another person to behave as you want can become impossible A constant source of annoyance. “Waiting for the other to act according to our desire and opinion, without taking into account what is on the other side and what is actually needed, is a great cause of suffering,” he explains.
short, There are no infallible recipes For connections, each story is unique. “It is important to think about each case individually, because there is no manual on how to treat others,” he concludes.