“When we tell at work that we took in three children, we are asked real questions”

Cozy ‘in series’. This is how Rocío Tovar defines himself, with one biological child and three in foster care. One of them, Verónica Caro, came home when she was only 16 months old and is now, at 15, adopted by this family. Of … profession of social worker, Tovar highlights society’s ignorance of this child protection system, which allows minors who cannot live with their biological family growing up in a stable home provided by another family while their situation is resolved, providing them with care, education and a safe environment. “There are no foster families because many people don’t want them, but many others don’t even know it exists or are unfamiliar with the measure. The result is devastating,” summarizes Tovar.

This woman is referring to the fact that of the 30,000 children supervised by the administration, 17,000 are still in residential centers waiting for a family. Changing this dynamic and making this protective measure known is the objective of “Spain, show magic”the latest campaign launched by the State Foster Care Association (ASEAF), made possible thanks to the collaboration of the Nemesio Diez Foundation, directed by María Satrústegui.

With this they aim to debunk the myths about these minors, explains Tovar, “that they are all criminals or problems. It must be clear that all children deserve to grow up in the warmth of a home, with its good and bad things. I know her and so she has limits and rules. Learn what life is and don’t live with the rigidity of a center. These are other dynamics. At home you always expect the same father or mother as a figure of reference, and in the residences, the educator can change because he or she leaves the center, they risk being fired…

The reception is “very unknown”, confirms the couple formed by Ignacio (39 years old) and Teresa (37 years old). This couple has three minors in foster care: two 4-year-old twins and Samuel, who will soon celebrate his first birthday. Married since 2014, they have always been open to children but it seems “it wasn’t God’s plan,” Ignacio says. As this family vocation has always been there, continues this man, “we approached to get information and a wonderful and parallel universe opened up to us”. Their family situation makes them extremely happy. “It’s something that fills us a lot,” remarks his wife, Teresa.

Rocío and Verónica (15 years old), moved from permanent foster family status to adoption status

Tania Sieira

But, Ignacio explains, “when we first talked about it at work, everyone assumed we were talking about adoption, they questioned us. They told us: ‘how brave you are’. The reality is that we did it without thinking about it. The fear is understandable because many doubts assail you: ‘Will he behave well?’ “Will he be okay?” he admits.

“All children deserve to grow up in the warmth of a home, with its good and bad things”

Concerning the fear, adds Tovar, “on the other hand, it is quite widespread, that we are going to take it away from you”, we must keep in mind that no human being belongs to anyone and everything that is experienced in this process is a plus for the minor and for the host families. Because for me, my daughter Verónica is my muse, my inspiration, I am a better person thanks to her, even if sometimes I would kill her (laughs). It’s not easy but that’s what being your mother is.

“The families who host are ‘premium’: they must be taken care of like gold”

For Salomé Adroher, professor at the Pontifical University of Comillas and director of the “Family care and care of children and adolescents in protection” Chair, much progress has been made over the last ten years, but the law is not fully respected. According to him, to improve the social culture of this protection system, “large campaigns like this are necessary, which help to search for candidate families “under the stones”. “other models of protective families”. This expert refers to volunteers who “will support the centers or do leisure projects with these children or to families who take their minors on weekends, on vacation or during a school year”. He also mentions, among other outstanding challenges, the “necessary flexibility in possible transitions: that volunteer families can become collaborators, they become hosts and, finally, adopters”.

For all these reasons, for Teresa “the support network is very important. “We appreciate it very much.” Ignacio corroborates: “for my parents, these are their 16th, 17th and 18th grandchildren. I am the youngest in a large family and during family gatherings the cousins take turns looking after them. “Everyone knows the welcome from our personal experience.”

“All children deserve to grow up in the warmth of a home, with its good and bad things”

In this case, all children have contact with their family of origin at least once a month. “We don’t know them, but the twins grew up with this reality and seem to understand it. We talked about it openly, referring to the fact that they grew up in their mother’s womb and we are their foster family. The ideal is that they return to their family, that they reintegrate,” he admits, aware of his role.

“Spain supports us but a lot of information is missing. Many clichés persist, such as “you have to have money to host” or “these children must have done something”. To all those who are dominated by fear, concludes Helena Escalada, director of ASEAF–, I invite you to go to www.acogedoras.org and find out more. There will always be someone ready to grab a coffee and share their story. Emotional connections change the lives of these children. It’s worth it“. This campaign, he concludes, “is the continuation of ‘Doors that open stories’. There are too many closed doors.”