Cartoonist, journalist, playwright and writer Millôr Fernandes said there were themes that seemed inevitable for anyone writing a column. “Sooner or later, every honest columnist has to talk about euthanasia,” he said.
He said the word itself had a performative appeal. “Departure is such a beautiful word that if we pronounce it against the blue sky of sunset (formerly sunset) on a Sunday,” he wrote in a column published in Leafin 2001.
The designer continues the satire and treats the subject as if he were dismantling a serious discourse from the inside. “Euthanasia, invented in 1200 by Sir Lawrence Olivier Lancelot,” he writes, became fashionable among doctors “in a hurry to collect bills from widows.”
The text also played with language and panic around the subject. “Otherwise (which has eliminated the other no from the language), it is very easy to know if we have contracted euthanasia,” he writes, before piling up the historical and contemporary references which range from “the end of a Russian hero in the communist era” to “Carandiru”.
Read the full text below, part of section 105 Columns of great repercussion, which recalls the chronicles that marked the history of the Leaf. The initiative is part of the celebrations of the newspaper’s 105th anniversary in February 2026.
Euthanasia (8/12/2001)
Sooner or later, every good columnist has to talk about euthanasia, which is why it took me so long to decide. From the outset, it is such a beautiful word that if we say it against the blue sky of a sunset (formerly sunset) on a Sunday, anyone, no matter how poetic, immediately realizes that we are very cultured and educated. In any case, it is not necessary to wait until Sunday to resort to euthanasia, since on ordinary days this word can also be used, but only in cases of self-defense.
But what is euthanasia? Euthanasia, invented in the 1200s by Sir Lawrence Olivier Lancelot, immediately became very popular among doctors in a hurry to collect bills from widows. Applied to the sick, it gives excellent results, completely curing them of these crazy habits of calling doctors when they are ill. Doctors should only be called when you are selling health. For example, at 18, surfing in Arpoador.
In addition (which has eliminated the other no from the language), it is very simple to know if you have contracted euthanasia: you just have to look in a corner and see if the medical commission is speaking in a low voice. If so, it’s because you’ve just been called up as a Russian hero in the communist era or as an organ donor in today’s China. In 19th century Brazil, this was not yet called euthanasia, but rather “Volunteers of the Fatherland”.
During the Middle Ages (around 40 years) this science became widely practiced, mainly in Caxias, Rio, with Mr. Tenório Cavalcanti even publishing a book on the best ways to use the aforementioned Euterpe with the Lurdinha machine gun. She also flourished greatly among the Medicis of Florence and only no longer flourished because Florence feared competition and the harsh judges practiced euthanasia in euthanasia, and she embarked for France, where she appeared in a film by André Cayatte and I can guarantee you that she was more beautiful than ever.
But the place where the greatest euthanasias that I have ever had the opportunity to experience occur is on the 2nd floor. psychological treatment pavilion, in Carandiru.
Listen, I’ll explain better: at the time when the Trojan horse was still a foal, euthanasia had already traveled around the world twice, used on numerous occasions by people who did not have the slightest experience and who sought to erase someone by practicing euthanasia and who ended up liquidating them without euthanasia even showing itself. (Here it would be appropriate to talk about Hiroshima and Nagasaki, but now I don’t want to get involved in the Cold War, because I think that one was pretty hot. I prefer showers. By the way, someone there has five tens, I have to wash the money out of these rubber bands).
In short, it’s euthanasia. Anyone who knows more should tell me, because the bibliography on the subject is very rich, Trotsky even preparing a large volume on the subject when Stalin euthanized him. And I say nothing else because, for us, I am talking about euthanasia.
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