For bigger and better resolutions in 2026: let’s allow ourselves

And what are our crazy projects? Two kilos less? This long-postponed trip? Stop being a ghost gym member? Work less and spend more with your children?

Simple things, right? Even too much.

• I do not have the gift of delusional hope: Everyone dreams of Mega-Sena at the start of the year, except me
• Hypochondriacs’ Digital Handbook: With the Internet and social media, illnesses and paranoia fall into our hands

Look what the former director of the PRF, little Silvinei, did a few days ago: he broke the electronic ankle monitor, put the suitcases and the dog — where did that dog end up, my God — in the car and fled to Paraguay. He was arrested at the airport with a false passport and a simple letter stating that he was suffering from very serious brain cancer, the only symptom of which – interestingly enough – was that he could neither speak nor hear. As they say here, the fool got involved. He narrowly escaped the countless crimes he committed.

They discovered R$400,000 in the house of the noble deputy. He appeared in front of the cameras, brushed the termites off his forehead and told all of Brazil that he had forgotten to deposit the money in the bank. Stay MP.

The owner of the bankrupt bank was handing out money left and right, so the authorities would look the other way when they saw the bank going bankrupt. When it finally went bankrupt, the authorities reacted with whistles. None of them lost their positions.

Faced with these examples of acute immodesty and chronic immorality, I think we are entitled to bigger dreams in 2026. What does two kilos less represent compared to the crimes committed in the previous paragraphs?

• Today’s neocafajeste wears sandals, shorts, short-sleeved shirt, leather bag and omnipresent MST cap

The motorcyclist runs a red light and almost causes a serious accident. Is something happening to him? Nothing: that’s all. The playboy speeds down the sidewalk on his electric bike, crushing elderly people and mothers with strollers. The playboy, like the biker, doesn’t care. “I want it, I will do it, to hell with the others,” they think. Consequence? None.

And here we are, thinking a thousand times about the pros and cons of calling this person or whether the dollar rate will allow us to take the trip of our dreams.

The guy takes a giant speaker to the beach. Sit in the middle of the crowd and turn on the sound. The one who sings is a young man who lists his sexual adventures and his criminal past. He describes the details, speaks with ease about weapons and sexual organs, creates a beautiful mixture of machismo, misogyny and the purest and most touching lack of education. Taste is something personal, everyone hears what they want, but the guy turns the volume up to maximum so that the whole beach can hear it, without worrying about the presence of children around. Later, he will proudly leave again, leaving a mountain of garbage and waste in the sand. Issue? None.

• Dua Lipa in Baixo Gávea: Too many celebrities ruin any environment, even the coolest ones

Given these examples of the current mess, with so many bad people doing what they want, without thinking of others, perhaps now is the time for ordinary people to realize their dreams.

We have gotten into the habit of asking for little. Want only what seems possible, prudent and reasonable. Let’s leave fear aside.

Here’s to bigger and better resolutions in 2026. In the mess we find ourselves in, anyone who wants something that isn’t illegal and doesn’t harm anyone is a true hero: they deserve all the best for the year ahead.