What is the prevailing idea of motherhood in the world of social networks? How does this affect your followers? In a world full of hearts and likes, how do you handle modern motherhood?
“Until recently, the ideal of motherhood was all the rage: clean homes, full refrigerators, and Pinterest rooms. Then came ‘Side B,’ which is the opposite,” describes philosopher Fleur Sichel, author of All the World Wants.
For Marina Sánchez de Bustamante, doctor of social sciences and researcher of motherhood and mass culture, the current model has pre-network roots: “It inherits the archetype reinforced by the media in the last century: the dedicated, loving, effective mother, fully responsible for the home and upbringing.” She adds that this number is becoming more demanding as women’s participation in paid work increases. “Economic and emotional demands have intensified, generating feelings of guilt, anxiety and psychosomatic exhaustion in contemporary mothers.”
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Instagram has become the stage on which that motherhood is displayed and consumed. Even as they seek to represent “true motherhood,” many of them reproduce the ideal. “During my pregnancy, I had to stop drinking because the advice kept coming. Then I realized everything got simpler,” says Marianna Leonard, screenwriter and new mother.
Clara Bartolomei, mother of an 18-month-old, agrees: “At night, while breastfeeding, you scroll and get the products you supposedly need, and you buy them without thinking.” For others, networking was companionship. “I felt lonely because I didn’t have any maternal friends, and those stories accompanied me during pregnancy and my first time,” Rocío-Belfer recalls. Seychelles recognizes this dual benefit: “There can be a sense of relief and relief in the postpartum period, but also the frustration of feeling like you never reached that elusive ideal of a good mother.”
Argentine moms amass hundreds of thousands of followers and work with brands that amplify their discourse. “This idea came from a desire to share motherhood and give practical advice,” says Delfina Roldan, co-founder of @mama_sos. “If the brand doesn’t represent us, we don’t show it. Followers are looking for companionship.” Sánchez de Bustamante warns that its impact extends beyond virtual reality: “There was a validation of the mother’s voice. For the first time, mothers defined motherhood. Before that, those voices were the voices of experts.”
Parenting in the twenty-first century. In this ecosystem, “positivity” dominates, but it can be harmful. “Everything I read made me feel guilty,” says Maria Soledad Rojas, a communications specialist and mother of two. “There is always a judgmental view: Nothing is enough.”
“These narratives define behaviors, what things to have, what a mother or her child should look like. Everything intersects with the duty to be and the duty to have,” says Anna Laura Conde, teacher and actor. Regarding the sense of community, she adds: “It seems dangerous to me: the record of what these working mothers say is missing. The community helps them work more and better.”
Networks provide companionship, resources, and belonging, but they also fuel anxiety. “I tried to distance myself and trust more in my intuition and what other real mothers told me,” Leonard says. “There are a lot of lonely moments and you quickly fall into the illusion that this keeps you company, but it’s a fantasy.”
Sichel suggests restoring trust in one’s experience: “There are no absolute truths. If one hopes to solve a parenting problem by watching a video, one is missing out on what is most interesting: parenting.”
Sánchez de Bustamante sees the challenge posed by feminist movements as political: “Recognizing that care constitutes what is human. It is not a question of rejecting that responsibility, but of redistributing it and transforming the institutions that ignore it.”
Sanchez de Bustamante concludes, “The challenge facing feminists is to contest the collective recognition that emotional dependence and care constitute what is human. This shared life involves obligations, burdens, and connections. The political struggle that feminists raise is not to get rid of that responsibility, but to reverse its undervalued value, distribute responsibility and transform logics that ignore responsibility, desire, and the right to care and to be cared for.”
An exception to magic
Public relations
When “mothers” of various types, such as “good”, “pediatrician”, and “psychiatrist” multiplied, an option appeared to break many schemes: @mamialbañil, created by Bernardita Ciotti. The influencer says: “On my account, I don’t talk about motherhood. Yes, sometimes I show my daughters, but I don’t give parenting advice. What I strive to do is inspire other women to encourage them to do new things: If I can fix a wall, anyone can.” “I’m a regular girl who makes arrangements, and I think that motivates me a lot.”
Nostalgia as a value
Public relations
The phenomenon of business wives is increasing in the world. “It is radically conservative: it encourages a return to ‘pure femininity’ based on breadwinner masculinity, traditional family and religious values,” Sánchez de Bustamante analyzes. Its protagonists—white women, of high socioeconomic status, who exhibit structured, domesticated lives—spread a political message beneath the aesthetics of domestic tranquility. Behind it lies a model of white, heterosexual, and somewhat conservative femininity.
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