What is it and why is privacy at risk on social networks?

“I got fired today and I don’t know what to do with my life.” “I just came out of treatment and I feel devastated.” “These are things I’m ashamed to admit.” Such expressions, accompanied by crying videos on TikTok or Instagram, or threads on social media, have become a viral phenomenon. What was once reserved for the privacy of a diary or a conversation with a friend is now exposed to millions of people.

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“Oversharing” – the tendency to over-share one’s private life on social media – is growing at a rapid pace, driven by the promise of empathy, validation and digital companionship. But what makes us expose ourselves in this way? What do we gain and what do we risk?

On TikTok, the trend known as “Social media is fake, here are some things I’m embarrassed to admit” (summed up in the hashtag #socialmediaisfake) is gaining momentum, as users — many of them Gen Z — share their deepest insecurities, from career anxiety to concerns about their self-worth. This type of content elicits sympathy and solidarity, but it also opens the door to harmful comparisons.

On the other hand, confessional threads proliferate on Reddit and other platforms, where phrases like “I want to tell you this because I can’t take it anymore” begin stories of emotional catharsis, breakups, loneliness, or anxiety. These narratives generate countless responses from strangers offering advice or just virtual companionship.

At the family level, a specific example of this is the phenomenon of “sharing,” when parents post intimate details about their children on social media. Although this behavior is often well-intentioned, it can affect the self-esteem and privacy of minors, because it creates an idealized and exposed image of them without their consent.

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The reasons behind this phenomenon

Digital validation — through likes and comments — activates reward circuits in the brain, including areas like the nucleus accumbens, which also respond to rewarding stimuli in personal environments. These rapid reactions can release dopamine and enhance the tendency to share emotional content.

However, reducing the phenomenon of over-involvement to a simple “dopamine rush” is an overly simplistic view. Motivations for sharing intimate details on social media also include broader social, cultural and psychological factors. Attributing our digital behaviors solely to this neurotransmitter lacks neuroscientific support and does not promote deeper understanding.

Social support is another crucial factor in social media overexposure. Sharing difficult experiences online can generate a sense of community and support, especially when there are empathetic responses from strangers. Some research suggests that posting about mental illness on social media facilitates access to informal support networks, learning coping strategies, and a sense of belonging.

During the pandemic, it has also been noted that digital support has had a positive impact on the mental health of many users, although it is emphasized that it is the type and quality of this support that determines its effectiveness.

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Finally, this phenomenon can also be explained by the cathartic effect: expressing our feelings in text or video allows us to organize our thoughts and confront our emotions. Oversharing can be viewed as a digital version of a personal diary, only with an audience ready to respond in real time.

However, this emotional transparency can have serious consequences. On TikTok, there are countless cases of users facing criticism, ridicule, or even threats after revealing personal crises or areas of their lives that they would rather forget.

Social comparison is another common danger. Seeing other people sharing their healing or grief processes can generate pressure to do the same, as if seeing is evidence of authenticity. This dynamic can increase anxiety and feelings of inadequacy in those who do not feel ready to share their personal experiences.

Reliance on external approval begins when our emotional health begins to be measured by digital interactions: If an intimate post doesn’t generate enough repercussions, it’s easy to feel rejected or ignored. This leads us to share more, with greater emotional intensity, in search of that answer that affirms us.

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Moreover, the digital emotional imprint is long-lasting. Even deleted content can persist in screenshots or be posted indirectly, or reappear when least expected, and impact personal or professional reputation.

Finally, “Sharing” reveals another kind of emotional vulnerability: those without a voice—children—whose boundaries are crossed without their consent, with potential psychological consequences in the future.

Before sharing, it’s helpful to ask yourself: What am I really looking for when I post? Do I need verification or real support? Reflection helps avoid impulsive participation, and setting clear boundaries enhances a sense of security and creates emotional balance. As mental health experts point out, setting and maintaining boundaries is crucial to well-being.

Identifying personal aspects you don’t want to reveal — such as mental health, relationships, or family struggles — not only provides protection but also boosts self-esteem. Social media privacy tools, such as sharing content only with “close friends,” restricting comments, or limiting the visibility of posts, are valuable resources for maintaining a balance between emotional connection and personal protection.

Moreover, the offline dimension remains crucial. In-person support, whether from family, friends or professionals, often provides more real and consistent listening than digital interactions. In fact, some research has shown that combining online support groups with in-person support groups benefits emotional recovery and allows for better responses to individual needs.

Private journals — such as keeping a diary, recording voicemails, or expressing feelings through art — provide safe ways to process feelings without public exposure on social media.

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Oversharing reflects the paradox of our time: We seek authenticity and connection on social media, but end up exposing our wounds in places where compassion coexists with judgment, and where the private can become public forever.

Participation can have immediate positive effects – validation, support, or catharsis – but it also carries risks ranging from social anxiety to long-term vulnerability.

Protecting our emotional privacy is not a sign of isolation, but rather a conscious form of self-care. In a digital ecosystem that rewards overexposure, reserving spaces for intimacy may be the most valuable gesture to protect our mental health.

*Director and Master Professor in Public Health Psychology at the European University.