Do you know what vaginismus is? Difficulty, or impotence, is what prevents a woman from having sex through vaginal penetration. A large number of women, according to sexologists, suffer from this problem, from childhood until old age. Many of them suffer in silence, without seeking treatment or obtaining better information about the issue.
But here, in our weekly columns, we get to know most of the things in this complex and sensitive area of sexual practices. So, let’s take a look at some key questions about vaginismus, taken from my latest book, “A Caminho do Prazer,” available in bookstores across the country (physical stores as well as online).
1. A friend told me that she suffers from vaginismus. What is this?
It is the involuntary contraction of the vaginal muscles during sex. The severity of the problem varies: some women even close the vaginal opening completely, preventing the penis from entering. Others show a lesser degree of contraction: the penis penetrates the vagina slightly, but with great difficulty.
This difficulty is mainly related to emotional issues. It can be the result of very traumatic issues, such as painful sexual relations that involve abuse and rape. But it can also be related to issues such as oppressive sex education, or any other type of thinking that brings a negative view of sex.
There is treatment, and as with problems with pain during penetration, it usually involves a multidisciplinary team: a psychologist, a gynecologist, a pelvic physical therapist and even a psychiatrist.
2. It does not cause pain, but the penis cannot enter either. Or enter one or two centimeters at most. Why?
Even if you don’t feel pain, an inability to receive the penis is usually a sign of vaginismus. There are women who, even when highly aroused, contract their vaginal muscles without realizing it. In other words, the organ closes and does not actually enter the penis, since the vaginal muscles are usually strong.
This difficulty in receiving the penis is generally linked to emotional problems, as we mentioned in the previous question, and the treatment path begins with seeking help from a psychiatrist.
3. I heard there is a finger technique to achieve painless penetration. Is there really such a thing? How does it work?
It’s about starting to relax the muscles in the vaginal area little by little: first, the woman inserts her finger and sees how it feels. Next, insert two fingers.
Only in the third moment does the penis attempt to penetrate the vagina. Or try it with a sexy toy, like a vibrator or something else shaped like a penis: These things come in different sizes and you can start with small ones.
But none of this is of any use if a woman doesn’t examine herself deeply and consider, for example, what all this fear and discomfort infiltrating her life means. This investigation usually gives excellent results when conducted with the assistance of a psychologist.
4. Could I have a vaginal dysfunction?
This is rare, but it can happen. There are women who are born with certain abnormalities that a gynecologist can easily detect. The most common is the vaginal septum: a woman is born with a membrane in the middle of the vaginal canal, which divides it into two parts. There are cases when this barrier goes unnoticed and does not interfere with sex at all.
During the arousal phase, when the vagina naturally expands to receive the penis, this membrane adheres to one of the vaginal walls, leaving the canal free. But when this does not happen, the woman feels pain. The vaginal canal is divided into two halves, and the penis is inserted on one side. In other words, in a space that is too small to penetrate. But cases are very rare.
Anyway, that’s all for today. See you next week!
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