The announcement of the end of Yvette Sangallo and Danielle Cady’s marriage took social media by storm this week and sparked discussions about the way relationships built over many years are changing. After a journey marked by partnership and appreciation, the former couple announced their separation in a joint memorandum that promoted “deep dialogue, care and respect.”
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The implications of the ending, in addition to surprising the audience, opened the way to thinking about how the brain processes such important changes in emotional life. According to psychologist Jessica Martani, bonds formed in long-term relationships do not suddenly break, even when there is a consensus to follow different paths.
“Long-term relationships create emotional memories, a secure bond, and affection. When there is respect and a healthy relationship, the brain is able to regulate the bond and a loving partnership can continue in romantic form, making friendship and affection possible.”
According to her, the end of marriage does not erase the history that has been built, but rather reorganizes the role that each person begins to occupy. In family structures characterized by partnership and communication, the transition tends to be less painful.
“When there is a solid emotional base, the brain understands that that relationship is not over, it has just changed shape. This change can include healthy coexistence, parental cooperation, and even affection, as long as boundaries are respected.”
In the case of Yvette and Daniel, the public debate turns precisely to this transformation: How can the bond of love be transformed without breaking the human relationship that supports it? For Jessica, this process depends on emotional maturity and recognition that shared history is still valuable.
“Couples who break up while maintaining affection have a better chance of maintaining a functional relationship after the end, especially when there are children. The brain responds much better when there is no emotional aggression, humiliation or intense conflicts,” he explains.