Luanda, Angola, August 27, 1991
For Andre, Gustavo and Sofia
My children: Today I spoke at length with a man experienced in dealing with animals, General Conde Bayhama, the current ruler of Wanda. As a young man in the interior of Angola, he managed to escape being killed by numerous animals, sometimes by running away from them, sometimes by climbing trees, sometimes by standing still.
He told me that the tiger is the most dangerous animal there is. More dangerous than a lion, leopard, elephant and anything else. There’s not much you can do when facing a jaguar. If there is time, the person should run and try to climb a very tall tree. A very strong man who is able to kill a jaguar with one punch if he hits him on the head between the eyes. This is Jaguar’s weak point.
He told me that the lion is a cowardly animal. When facing a lion, a person must remain still without moving. Assad will do nothing and leave. But if the person runs, he will attack.
Well, if the lion leaves, be prepared. Because he was actually hiding and then attacking the person by surprise. The best thing in this case is for the person to return in the same way he was walking and with extreme caution.
The lioness, the wife of the lion, is very dangerous. It attacks even if a person remains still. If the lioness is accompanied by cubs, the attack is certain. The solution is for the attacker to try to run and climb a tree as high as possible. If the lioness is with the lion, she will attack the person, but the lion will not. Therefore, when confronting a couple, if the person is armed, they should shoot the lioness. If you shoot a lion, the lioness will attack and death will be inevitable.
There’s not much you can do against the rhino either. The way out is to run and climb a very tall and strong tree. Because if the tree is weak, the rhinoceros will cut it down. When escaping, the person must run towards fallen trees and obstacles that he can jump over. The unicorn will have difficulty overcoming obstacles. You will try to get around them and waste time.
As for the elephant, the general said that it is an unintelligent animal. When encountering an elephant, a person must stop and not make any movements. This way, he is less likely to be attacked. The elephant will do this only if a person is running or if he is accompanied by cubs. To escape from the elephant, a person must run in a zigzag pattern. You know what this is, right? When running in a zigzag pattern, a person should turn to the left all the time. An elephant is an animal that finds it difficult to turn left.
There is another way to trick an elephant: a person must know in which direction the wind is blowing strongest. like? Just pick up some dirt, raise your hand as high as you can and let go. The land will be pushed by the wind to one side. This means that the wind blows this way. The person can then, if he wants, approach the elephant as long as he is moving in the opposite direction of the wind. The elephant will not notice the person approaching. Unless he had seen her before. Better not to risk it.
Did you understand everything? Or is this part of the elephant confused?
I hope you never encounter a jaguar, lion, rhino or elephant, except in zoos, and at a safe distance from their cages. But if they find it, they already know what to do.
Note: I wrote this letter while I was working in Angola between 1991 and 1992. Andrei was 12 years old, Gustavo 10 years old, and Sofia, 7 years old.
All columns from Noblat’s blog at Metropoles