There are several aspects that make up sex, including noise and loudness. There are those who love it and there are those who hate it – it sounds like whining and that heated conversation can make everything more interesting (or even cause complaints from the neighbours).
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Sexologist Giulia Giannerini explains that noise is largely seen as a consequence of what is happening, a form of reaction that some can control and others cannot, and “loudness” can be linked to the intensity of pleasure and stimulation that occurs there.
“Moreover, just like everything in sex, there is an individual personality for each person. Some don’t feel the need to make noise, others do, so in addition to the moaning reflex when something feels good, there is also the personality that this person wants to bring to sex.”
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Does timely silence mean anything or is it just the person’s way?
The question on many people’s minds is whether the other person’s silence during sex means something. “Sometimes the context tells us to be quiet, and that’s normal. Many people feel shy or embarrassed when it comes to making noise during sex, so I can’t say that this is exactly the way, but how she feels in this context and what the environment asks of her.”
“It is very common to hear in a clinical context, especially in the case of casual sex, the comment: ‘What if I make a weird moan? What if he doesn’t like my noise? These thoughts are the biggest inhibitors in the sexual context,” highlights the professional.
How can a couple talk about noise (or lack thereof) without it coming to a head?
According to the sexologist, talking about sex in a relationship should be treated in the same way as talking about a rainy day, in a natural way. “For an environment to be natural, the environment must be safe and non-judgmental, so the first step is always to foster a conversational environment that ensures this nature.”
“I always use the sandwich technique: when we want to highlight something that bothers us, we start by praising something else. Make a positive comment, bring up the point that bothers us, for example, the lack of noise, and then praise again. That’s why the sandwich: praise, point out the improvement, praise,” suggests Julia.
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Does moaning really help increase pleasure or is this a myth?
For those concerned, the professional confirms that moaning has nothing to do with the intensity of pleasure. “There’s no scientific evidence that it increases pleasure, but it’s a good indicator to the other person that you like what’s going on.”
The sexologist adds: “If we allow it to flow, the moaning will come out naturally and will act as this thermometer. It does not mean that the greater the volume of the moaning, the greater the pleasure, but the greater the pleasure, the greater the frequency of this moaning.”