Is one better than the other?

It could be better Casual sex Of sex as a couple? Or is it the other way around? Every sexual encounter has its own characteristics, and every person experiences it in a certain way. However, there are some generalities that can be described Casual sex And also for Sex in a stable bond.

Psychologist and sexologist Gabriella Simone noted Clarion “We live in a time in which connections, expectations and forms of sexual excitement are multiplying. It is no longer enough to think about a stable relationship or a fleeting adventure: many people move in intermediate, hybrid and changing zones.” In this context, the possibilities are as numerous as the number of people inhabiting this world.

“There is no one right way to live a sexual life. What matters—and what is clinically relevant—is not the name of the bond, but its quality, the clarity of consent, communication, and coherence with self and other.

Is casual sex better than sex with a partner? In response to this question, the specialist said: “There is no universal answer: it makes no sense to claim that casual sex is better than sex with a partner – or vice versa – at all.. What may be best for one person at a given moment may not be best for another: it depends on desire, context, mood, and what the person is looking for at that moment.

For Simone, casual sex – well managed, with clarity, consent, respect and self-care – can offer valuable freedoms: the possibility to explore desire without constraints, to learn about oneself, to experience intense sensations, and to move between pleasure and self-knowledge.

But he warned that this path also entails Risks: In some contexts (especially when conscious motives are not reviewed, emotional vulnerabilities, pervasive expectations, or social pressures are present) psychological discomfort, guilt, anxiety, and a feeling of emptiness may emerge.

What is often celebrated as a win in casual sex — the unexpected, the different, the fleeting — can, in other cases, be a win. They make it difficult to communicate with your bodyWith real desire, with intimacy. The sexologist said that ambiguity and immediacy have their value in generating desire, but at the same time they can prevent the encounter from becoming a space of deep pleasure, emotional containment and mutual care.

For its part, sex as a couple – under conditions of commitment, intimacy, shared history and trust – has certain advantages that do not usually occur in a casual encounter. Simone Highlights:

• Allows you to build Emotional safety space Where people can slowly “let go” of their confidence, and look at their fears, insecurities or shame, without the weight of speed. This foundation can be essential for those who suffer from performance anxiety, fear of vulnerability, or insecurity about their bodies or desires.

• Provides a Deeper exploration contextWith the passage of time, you get to know the other, his rhythms, sensitivities, limits, and desires. This enriches sexual life.

• Easy communicationNegotiating desires, fantasies and boundaries, increasing the possibilities for pleasure, security and mutual care.

• Contributes nursing Beyond sex: Intimacy, emotional connection, mutual trust, and emotional containment are aspects that often contribute to overall well-being.

In sum, he emphasized, The most correct thing is not to prioritize one form over another, but to evaluate what each person or couple is looking for.What are their needs, values, capacity for self-care, desire for intimacy, and emotional history. “In that zone, every person, every body, every bond can find the pleasure, safety and intimacy they are looking for,” Simon said.

The specialist admitted (on Instagram, @licenciadagabysimone) that it is very common for casual sex to fall into a kind of ideal. “Often new is perfect“Provocative, unrestrained as a synonym for desire, freedom and passion.”

However, he warned, “This idealism can be deceptive: it reflects fantasies about the unknown, raising expectations about intensity and novelty without imagining potential weaknesses, contradictions, and wounds.”

In his experience, he emphasized that this idealism is often observed to respond Relational dissatisfaction Or looking for the restoration of desire, rather than the true desire of another person.

According to the sexologist. Maintaining the desire and pleasure of the couple Over time, it depends not on magical secrets, but on conscious decisions, mutual care, curiosity and the building of spaces of sexual excitement that go beyond the bed.

In this regard, he recommended the following:

• Chat regularly About desires, fantasies, limits and expectations. Don’t expect everything to come naturally or for the other person to guess. This communication builds emotional security and allows sexual life to be adapted to the needs of both.

• Listen actively: Understanding what is happening to the other – changes in desire, insecurities, fears, needs – without judgment. This openness strengthens intimacy and trust and reduces the pressure of what needs to be done.

• Incorporate everyday physical contact gestures: Caresses, hugs, kisses, closeness, soft touches (not with the demand for sex or orgasm, but as a way to stay in touch).

• Create spaces of emotional intimacy: Talk, share a good time, hang out, reconnect beyond sexual excitement. This emotional closeness maintains the sexual bond over the long term.

• Don’t assume that desire only starts in bed: Rate arousal as something that can be activated at any time of the day through glances, soft caresses, messages, games, and small rituals of communication.

• Alternative sexual routines: Not always the same, not always the same time, not the same place, not the same dynamic. Change scenarios, settings, roles and stimuli, as this may activate desire and surprise.

• Explore shared fantasies: Talking about what interests each person, and what they would like to experience, without taboos. Transforming fantasies into consensus, felt as a game and a desire.

• Resuming erotic practices after intercourse: Massage, caresses, sensual play, body exploration, extended introductions.

• Understand that desire fluctuatesThere are moments of desire more and moments of less. Hormonal changes, stress, fatigue, and life and routine changes can affect libido.

• Don’t confuse desire with commitment: We do not impose sex as a duty, but as a shared desire, as a space for meeting, bonding, and trust. When compliance becomes routine, everything can stop.

• Paying attention to one’s self-care: Comfort, health, emotional well-being, and stress management are factors that influence sexual desire and the potential for bonding of desire.

• Turn sexual excitement into a joint project: Plan couple outings, dates, vacations, and get-togethers different from everyday life to reconnect with each other outside of the routine. This removes comfortable security and activates desire, curiosity and expectation.

• View desire as a garden that requires constant tending, not as a flame that maintains itself: it requires attention, communication, spontaneity, and listening. Sometimes it comes back strong if it is planted with care, creativity, and mutual respect.

• Remember the origins of the relationship: The first months/stages of a relationship are often filled with desire, imagination, and curiosity. Revisiting those moments mentally—and practically—can help reconstruct desire: reclaiming rituals, gestures, discoveries, and complicities.

• Desire is not a fixed or automatic quality. It is not always a “spontaneous fire.” Often it is the result of conscious work, care, vulnerability, openness and shared creativity. As such, it deserves a space of respect, care, dialogue and accompanying experimentation.