Love never fits in spreadsheets. Perhaps because he refuses the comfort of linear relationships and prefers the unstable territory of human affairs, where reason tends to stumble. It is nevertheless curious to see how it organizes our choices even more than any socio-economic indicator. This tends to interrupt very well-established routines and shift priorities.
The biggest surprise is that there is no need for big storylines to happen. Sometimes it arises from conversations that promised nothing. Two people, a coffee and something that suits them. A sentence thrown into the air gives way to another, which gives way to another and, when we realize it, there is already a kind of intimate and provisional pact. A kind of feeling that the world has become a little nicer than before.
Perhaps the most intriguing part is that love coexists with insecurity. No one enters there commonly. This is uncharted territory. No matter how much experience we accumulate, emotional language is full of noise. There are days when the doubts become stronger and we almost give up before trying. And yet we try, like someone who insists on learning a difficult language because they know the effort might be worth it.
Love also has its component of inequality. I’m not talking about income, a recurring subject in this column, but about internal availability. There are those who arrive in one piece and there are those who carry old fatigue. There are those who are ready to open up and those who still think it is safer to maintain levels of protection. It’s never about demanding symmetry. The question is whether there is a possible balance, whether both are moving in the same direction, even at different paces.
Ultimately, love is a gamble. Not irrational, but informed by intuitions. It is the decision to grant others a place in our lives. And accept that this involves risks, but it can also involve gains that no economic model of costs and benefits can measure. There is a specific return to the experience of walking alongside people who listen to us and make us smile.
If there’s one lesson that love teaches us, it’s that no one loves at the perfect time. We love in fatigue, with tasks on the agenda, trying to reconcile ambition, fragility and desire. We love even when we don’t feel ready. And maybe that’s exactly what makes him so human.
Ultimately, to love is to admit that there is more to life than what we can build alone. There is something infinite in the simple presence of others. Something that escapes our attempts to organize chaos, but which, for a few moments, gives everything an unexpected meaning.
And this is perhaps why, even after a few falls, we continue to insist. Because, even if it doesn’t fit into the spreadsheets, love remains one of the most sophisticated experiences that life can offer us.
At the end of this month, I complete five years as a columnist. I am grateful for the trust of the newspaper and the wonderful team that makes this space for public reflection possible.
I also thank the readers who follow me. I hope that the next year will bring more love into everyone’s lives, more calm to get through the difficult days and a more humanistic vision to see each other with more attention.
The text is a tribute to the song “A Balada by Tim Bernardes”.
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