The pain of a breakup is universalBut few would dare compare it to the grief caused by the final loss of a loved one. However, l psychologyThe suffering following the breakup of a relationship can, in many cases, be deeper and more complex than grief over death.
Adrian Chico, psychologist expert in the field of emotional sexuality And driver’s assistant A night for twoTalk to the specialist Danny Blasquez for their mental health podcast, where they explain the differences and give reasons why navigating one is harder than the other.
“Grieving a breakup can sometimes be more painful than the death of a loved one, which could be a father or mother…because “The lover did not choose to leave, and the partner chose to leave you.”Chico said. He continued: “He will not leave because he did not want to leave, and if he could, he would have continued by your side and the other.” He continues to live his life even with someone else who loves him more than you.. “You see how he lives his life and you can’t do anything to avoid it, and sometimes you don’t even understand it.”
In this sense, he noted that not being chosen by the person you want to be with becomes an obsessive thought. Immediately afterward, Blasquez said to him: “You are describing to me the surface of something so I dig deeper to understand why.” Not all losses are equally painful, and why each loss is a different story.
“I always say that’s it It depends on two factors: bond and expectations. “If the attachment is too close, if he is too present in your life, if your life revolves around this person, if your expectations do not include loss or you avoid being with him… It often happens that in grief over a breakup, you often don’t look at what has been broken.”
He continued: “In mourning death, what happens is that it often happens, for example, to the father or mother. In theory, this is what is known as the law of life.”I am a little against this concept because it also makes us believe that what does not happen at the age of 95 is a mistake, that is, it is tantamount to bad luck. but Within this expectation of the law of life, one can accept it more easily“.
Sylvia CongostA psychologist who is an expert in self-esteem and relationships revealed, through her TikTok account, that the guaranteed way to get over a breakup quickly is to not contact, avoid places, and focus on routine.
“Usually a relationship ends because it was toxic, because one party suffered… It was difficult for us to break up. So, When one of them wants to quit smoking and the other does notIn those cases it is necessary – if we are to overcome them as quickly as possible – No contact; “Even though it seems like a trend that’s being talked about a lot now, it actually has a neuroscientific explanation.”
And also reveal it The brain has the capacity for neuroplasticityThis allows you to adapt to the new situation, in this case life without that person. “This is why we need a minimum of information and a minimum of intervention,” he stressed. That’s why It is recommended to avoid going to places you have previously shared together, and maintain contact with the person Through messages or social networks and you have mutual friends who talk about each other.
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