José Manuel Aguilar, forensic psychologist based in Córdoba and author of books on almost heretical concepts such as parental alienation wave shared custodytowards a world where scientific evidence is the facts that technicians … and professionals can interpret them, which serve as a basis for action. This is what your neighbor is talking about noveland applies it in her work to speak about the protection of children in divorce and violence. What he thinks is based on experience and his opinion is rarely lukewarm or ambiguous.
-You wrote the first book in Spanish on parental alienation syndrome (PAS) and since then people have been saying that it doesn’t exist.
-Apparently I’m a writer Science fiction. In 2004, I wrote this first book, which is about the process by which one parent manipulates their children into rejecting the other. Of course, I wasn’t talking about men and womenbut the SAP has become one of the flags of radical feminism which dominates the political and cultural agenda of this country, both within the PSOE in particular, and the PP.
-Is this accepted?
-They invented a concept absolutely “ex novo”, which has nothing to do with this, and now it exists, but only if men do it against women, because that is what fits their agenda. We therefore have as a result that the Governmentwho prides himself on being the most feminist of all, recognized in the laws that men can do something that women cannot do. This is one of the most sexist principles one can consider. Only men can manipulate their children, this is called indirect violence. I don’t know how feminism should take it. Our country is completely kidnapped by ideology.
-The defense of joint custody in divorce cases was also not received from the beginning.
-He had different luck. Because in 2013, the Supreme CourtIn other words, eight years later, he considered it the norm. In all divorces, joint custody should be the preferred measure, whenever possible. One of the concepts received institutional support and the other, rejection, from an exclusively ideological point of view.
-But it is the support of a state power which is not political, but judicial.
-The socialists had to accept it, in this case, because they also denied the possibility of shared custody and called it a form of abuse to the woman.
-It is said that the greatest love is that of a father towards his son. Are you tired of seeing the opposite?
-I am tired of seeing how parents, fathers and mothers, exploit their children, use them. I have worked for years in the field of international adoptions and have seen how parents who do not have a biological relationship with their children, because they are adoptedthey prioritize their well-being. It seems like we have to understand that a mother or father will always protect their children and sometimes that is not the case. It may even make you sick because you are looking for social recognition. It’s in the books and it’s called Munchausen Syndrome.
—It is said that children come without an instruction manual. Is there a need for a parenting school?
-I think so. Not only because you may need around fifteen tools, but also because you understand that what is happening to you with your child is normal. In other words, why did my son suddenly become like this? Why does my daughter hate me now and doesn’t even want to see me when yesterday she was addicted to me? It helps a lot to move forward because the father or mother who tells you that they never wanted to throw their child out of the window at any point in their life, that they never thought about it, is lying to you. There are times when we come to throw in the towel and says he can’t take it anymore. It’s not done, but it’s a time where if you also hear this from other parents, then they think about it too and you see that it’s normal.
“Only men can manipulate their children, this is called indirect violence. “It’s the most sexist thing that could exist and it’s enshrined in law.”
-Why can a child be so cruel to his peers or parents?
-It’s a question of education. Living beings tend to protect themselves, to satisfy themselves immediately. Inculturation, education in societyin schools, starting of course with the family, introduces values such as sharing, distributing toys, waiting for one’s turn. This is not standard. Cooperative games teach you how to do things with others. There are people who become chiefother people who are very collaborative, other people who are accommodating. All these questions need to be educated. The child has not had educational experiences to develop, for example: frustration. The most important things in life are postponed for several years.
-A report of injury is a report of injury, it seems objective. Is psychological harm difficult to prove?
-By not leaving scratches, bruises, swelling, trauma, it is much more complicated. Even if it is true that healing costs infinitely more. My patients who suffered injuries that occurred 8 years oldThey are 40 years old and still have an open wound. Mark your daily life. The goal is for them to bring it into their biography and understand and accept it, not constantly reject it. You have to heal your wounds and it’s difficult. Acceptance of the subject is the first obstacle.
-And how is it cured? Does the patient have to collaborate a lot?
-There is one problem, it is accepting it, and the second is committing. In other words, you can’t leave it out. What happened is there and will never be erased. A breakup. The loss of a child. One of my fundamental struggles was trying to get a word adopted for someone who has lost a child. I proposed orphan. The word does not exist. To grasp something, you must first name it. I found only one suitable word, in Hebrew.
José Manuel Aguilar, at one point in the interview
-Recently, the suicide of a young girl in Seville following harassment from her classmates was shocking. We looked at the school and the teachers a lot. Who fails there?
-I believe society is failing. He relativism of the West, we pay the price. There are things that are absolutely unacceptable from moment zero. The environment is very predatory, disposable, consumption and substitution. If it doesn’t work for me, I throw it away and get another one. It has been applied to intimate relationships and human relationships in general. The generation under 30 has enormous problems with relationship. Our children at school are often very lonely. They may find themselves in a weak situation, and if they also do not have established boundaries, they take advantage of the circumstances of our cultural relativism and the situation.
-What good does it do for someone to mistreat another? It is not a basic need.
-Improve self-esteem. Terribly, in a completely reprehensible way. A social recognition, which others find funny. The image of power he displays. And it’s not funny.
“Parental alienation syndrome is one of the flags of radical feminism that dominates the cultural agenda, especially of the PSOE, but also of the PP”
-There have been women who committed suicide with their children. Is this indirect violence?
-According to our government, no, because it was a woman who did it, and she will surely have her problems. We sometimes speak of prolonged suicide.
-Does the term indirect violence sound good to you?
-No way. Firstly because it is about recognizing that there are things that men do and that women do not do. This is a concept based exclusively on ideology. We are technicians. We must rely on facts and knowledge.
-What do you think of what has been heard about the case of Juana Rivas?
-They gave me the psychologist’s report. We find a family drama which worsens due to the intervention of politicians and their tap dancing. There is interference from the Executive and politicians in the judicial field. This is not a conflict between two parents, it is a political flag that was raised regardless of the facts. Fortunately we have courts that they adapted to the law and its application without pressure. I have the impression that she is the first victim.
-Another science fiction writer like you is Juan Soto Ivars, who is boycotted for speaking out in his book about false allegations of gender-based violence.
-What you can’t do is confuse the democracy with the political system that we have in Spain. Spain is not a democracy, because there are subjects that we cannot talk about. It could be the book by Juan Soto Ivars, parental alienation or climate change: If they do not conform to the thought that you wish to impose, you have the right to persecute them and refuse them to speak. What we are seeing today is a rebound effect. Social movements are a pendulum and there is now a moment when many young people are raising their voices to denounce facts that they are trying to deny from a political point of view. LEFT very misunderstood and obsolete.
-Someone said that with the law on gender violence, the presumption of innocence was sacrificed to save lives. Are ten innocent people in the dungeon better than one dead woman?
-The presumption of innocence was broken and no lives were saved. If we take the data from 2004 here, we see that the number of victims It’s exactly the same thing. Has this improved after tens of billions of public money? One of the fundamental pillars of Constitution It was defeated, destroyed, even ignored.
“The generation under 30 has enormous relationship problems”
-Is there a need for an arbitrator in the event of separation?
-I think it would be a good thing to establish a system of mandatory mediation and this produced an obvious result for the judge. A final report which would consider who collaborated, who hindered, who wants to help, who does not want to help and which would be binding.
-Can you be born in the wrong body?
-Yes, there are very particular circumstances, very studied by psychiatryin which, due to certain biological circumstances, you may be born in the wrong body. The process of recent years is to use this circumstance as an answer to other possible psychological problems that are not seen because we already have this answer that we like and stop looking for. Let’s get back to the obvious: lift all the assumption there were and are some, even those which seem improbable. Gather the evidence and place it in each of the boxes. When you’re finished, look at which box contains the most evidence. If one of them predominates, that is surely the answer to the problem. Here you choose the answer that interests you the most. political agendaalthough we have evidence of others.
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