CREEP by Pedro Sánchez

Because, according to the Cambridge Dictionary, “to creep” means “slip”, “crawl”, “go slowly” or “move stealthily to remain unnoticed”“.

I renounce today to further delve into the adequacy of Sánchez’s behavior in power with what the political scientists called it “creeping authoritarianism” or “unbridled authoritarianism”.

Although it is a concept fatally applied to both classical antiquity (“How Republics Die: Creeping Authoritarianism in Ancient Rome and Beyond”, by Juliuus Vervaet) as to the contemporary society (“How Democracies Die” by Levitsky and Ziblatt).

And it seems undeniable that Sánchez’s way of governing by decree-law, his reforms to control the judiciary, his avoidance of the obligation to present budgets or his systematic attacks on critical media outlets have already turned him into a bad example for the world.

But my focus this week will not be the shameful roll of honor of autocrats in democratic garb, in which Sánchez appears between Orbán and Erdogan, alongside the rulers of Philippines or India.

No matter how much they all use the “crawling” technique, so surreptitious as constantsliding democracy towards authoritarianism, according to that cumulative metamorphosis that we usually summarize with the metaphor of the scalded frog.

We’ll have to go back to all of this. But the proof that today I do not say that Sánchez is a ‘creeper’ or that what he does is a ‘creeper’, is that the word that occupies my title could not even originally be considered a word.

These are acronyms that evolved in the American political jargon with polysemic humor. That’s why they are written in capital letters.

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In fact, CREEP began as the CRP or Committee for the Re-Election of the President. It was launched by Richard Nixon’s supporters in the spring of 1971 to ensure that he could remain in office for a second term. White House after 72 elections.

It was headed by former Attorney General George Mitchell and its initial objective was raise funds from individual and corporate donors. But it was within it that the White House “plumbers”, theoretically responsible for detecting leaks to the press, set up the dirty war operations that led to Watergate.

It seems undeniable that Sánchez’s way of governing by decree-law, his reforms to control the judiciary, his avoidance of the obligation to present budgets or his systematic attacks on critical media outlets have already turned him into a bad example for the world.

When Woodward and Bernstein pulled the rug out from under the cake, the intelligence of other journalists incorporated the two “e” in “reelection” and CREEP has become the eponym of institutionalized corruption.

The popular joke also linked cheaters in the White House in this way with the magazine ‘Creepy’, a pioneer of horror as a comic genre. It was founded in 1964 and has distributed three million copies worldwide.

Each issue included a variety of comics in black and white about cannibalsvampires, werewolves or serial killers, presented by an iconic character called ‘Uncle Creepy’.

He was a slender, haggard, hostile individual who practiced dark humor, surrounded by skulls, cobwebs or coffins. His greetings to readers became immediately famous: “Welcome to the corner where dreams are nightmares and laughter is screams… Don’t worry, you’ll just lose sleep… or maybe your mind.”

“Uncle Scary”, “Uncle Sinister”. He soon became the Richard Nixon’s second nickname. The first was “Tricky Dickie”, “Ricardito el Tramposo”.

When an anthology of the best ‘Chilling’ comics was published in 2011, publisher Dark Horse hired the great cartoonist Eric Powell to create a cover composition inspired by the Godfather saga with the main ‘horrible’ characters, grouped around ‘Uncle Sinister’s’ armchair.

Javier Muñoz was inspired by this illustration to represent which from today onwards will be called “CREEP by Pedro Sánchez“. The Commission for the Re-election of the President who aspires to remain in Moncloa for 13 years.

We don’t know if the elections will be held 26 or 27but This CREEP has been operating for at least two years.. Because the main reason Sánchez was willing to pay whatever it took to get his third investiture was because he wanted to start working in Moncloa to get his fourth investiture.

Live to live, command to command. Power as an end in itself.

I didn’t have a project for Spain. But he had and has a project for himself, from which he can no longer escape.

***

In this vignette, not everyone who is, but yes, they are all who they are.

The hard core of CREEP, the Government and the party are the same thing. This is a typical singularity of the evolution towards autocracy.

With the president himself in charge, CREEP is headed by the first vice-president and deputy general secretary of the PSOE, María Jesús Montero. He is the main exponent of the mass of the socialist race, with broken and torn arms always at his waist.

She is flanked by the Oscar Brothers, attack dogs who, when they don’t bite on social media or on their private television with the category of public entity, they run ministries to give money to addicts.

Then the minister’s spokesman appears, Pilar Alegría, willing to lie with physiological recurrencewithout breaking a sweat and without feeling any embarrassment for turning every institutional appearance into a partisan rally.

With the president himself at the helm, CREEP is headed by the first vice-president and deputy general secretary of the PSOE, María Jesús Montero. He is the main exponent of the mass of the socialist race, with broken and torn arms always at his waist.

And completes the lucky quintet, the ‘consigliere’ Felix Bolañosa kind of Tom Hagen with noble feelings and reasonable purposesalways repressed by loyalty to the boss who adopted him as a legal advisor.

But this CREEP also includes four ministers without portfolio in its virtual government. Let’s take a look at them.

Firstly, in the futile Patxi López, eternal errand boy, whatever the position he holds. He was forever portrayed by the urgency with which he insisted on returning to the PNV the keys to Ajuria Enea that fell into a draw and he never managed to use.

Covering the Godfather’s demoscopic back, the old CIS druid, José Félix Tezanos, appearsspecialist in adulterating the magic potion of the ballot boxes with rapeseed oil from a memory of voting for the PSOE that is much superior to the real one.

Then we have the Masked Plumber, the journalist from research that has never published a press article. That Leire Díaz who proclaimed herself plenipotentiary of Santos Cerdán and Sánchez himself, but added, like a good undercover agent, that her statement would self-destruct in a few seconds… As long as it wasn’t recorded.

And finally, there is the cat who is sad and sad, sitting on the bench with your toga and fistsawaiting sentencing, prepared to serve as a hero or martyr for the cause, as the case may be.

Who does the Public Ministry depend on? the president snorted. No one doubts that García Ortiz depended and will depend on Sánchez. He has worked and will work for Sánchez. Whether he is elevated to the rank of saint in life or becomes an exquisite corpse.

***

Sánchez’s first CREEP was created Ábalos and Koldo with Iván Redondo as pilot. And if we had presented this “family” photo just a few months ago, the miraculous Santos Cerdán and Paco Salazar, the harassed stalker with whom the minister’s spokesman secretly meets, would have taken center stage.

Now the precarious pawns are, as I said, the plumber and the attorney generalwhom the courts persecute for the services that each person provided in their area. Leire Díaz from the depths of the sewers, García Ortiz in the same leadership of the Judiciary.

The Plumber’s criminal activities to obstruct the courts seem beyond doubt and his alibi as a vigilante, in the hands of Perez DolcetIt couldn’t be more ridiculous. It remains to be seen whether he will confess as the Watergate raiders or will immolate himself for the cause.

If we had presented this “family” photo just a few months ago, the miraculous Santos Cerdán and Paco Salazar, the beleaguered stalker with whom the minister’s spokesman secretly meets, would have taken center stage.

In the case of the Attorney General the question is whether the very high valueprobability judgmentWhether or not he committed the crime of revealing secrets to criminalize Ayuso’s boyfriend will become a “judgment of certainty beyond a reasonable doubt” in the eyes of most judges.

The institutional damage that your challenge to the Supreme Court is causing, clinging to a absurd legal loophole that no one realized so as not to resign before being judged, is in any case irreparable.

Very much in line with what it means to find a senior Moncloa official who, as a witness forced to tell the truth, claims to have forgotten who the perpetrator of the crime was. sender of the most important email you have received in your public life. And, of course, since he changed his cell phone – just like the attorney general, for God’s sake – he will never be able to prove that.

Not to mention what’s happening on that festive television paid for by everyone, capable of presenting a cook dismissed from the UGT as a “sanitary worker” in a white coatangry with Juanma Moreno for the breast cancer tests.

Some of these episodes would only incite satire if they were not part of the functioning of a relentless machine made up of almost two thousand public servants and contractors, placed at the disposal of Pedro Sánchez’s CREEP. Just to manipulate social media they allocated 78 million of our taxes.

If, as I insist on repeating, twelve of the thirteen times a president has so far tried to be re-electedachieved its objective with much less means, it seems justified to conclude this letter with another of the ‘Uncle Creepy’s Most Blatant Warnings‘:

“Don’t close your eyes, because what It’s hidden under the bed…it’s much worse than you imagine!”