The new chapters of Emily in Paris test Emily and Mindy’s friendship. In the fifth season of the hit Netflix series, the friends, played by Lily Collins and Ashley Park respectively, face a new challenge in their relationship when the singer has an unexpected romance with Alfie (Lucien Laviscount), the ex-boyfriend of the marketing executive.
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At the end of last season, Mindy was single, fresh from a breakup with Nico (Paul Forman, Park’s real-life ex) and moving on after her group with Benoit (Kevin Dias) was disqualified at Eurovision. Now she runs away to Rome to join Emily and escape her problems, and meets Alfie, with whom she ends up having sex on several occasions. Of course, drama is inevitable after sleeping with your best friend’s ex.
Alfie and Mindy had some hot scenes
In this perspective, the Small shame I spoke to a psychologist and sex therapist who specializes in relationships to understand what to do if you find yourself in this awkward situation.
Ana Paula Nascimento emphasizes that telling the truth is a good option to preserve friendship. “In situations involving past friendships and relationships, honesty tends to be the most honest route, even if it is painful. Telling the truth preserves trust, prevents the story from being revealed by third parties, and demonstrates respect for the relationship.”
According to her, silence may seem easier in the short term, but it tends to deepen the feeling of betrayal and make the consequences even more difficult to repair.
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Even though it’s a painful conversation and you’re probably pretty nervous just thinking about it, here are the reasons why talking about it is the best option, according to the professional:
- Integrity and trust: friendship is built on trust. If she finds out from someone else or if the truth comes out somehow, the feeling of betrayal will be much greater and the trust in her will be completely destroyed. She will not only feel betrayed by the action, but also by your omission and secrecy.
- Narrative control: By telling him, you have the opportunity to express your regrets (if any), explain the context (without justifying the action), and show that you value his friendship enough to be honest. If she finds out from others, the story could be distorted and you won’t have the opportunity to explain yourself.
- Get rid of weight: Carrying such a secret is a huge burden. This can eat away at you internally and affect the way you interact with your friend, leading to guilt and distance.
- Respect for friendship: Even if his ex doesn’t say anything to him anymore, the fact that he was important at one point makes the situation delicate. Telling her shows that you respect her and recognize the impact it can have.
But how to count?
- Choose the right time and a private place: where she feels safe to express her emotions.
- Be direct, but sensitive: “I need to tell you something important that happened that made me very worried about our friendship. I slept with your ex…”
- Express your regrets and take responsibility: don’t blame the alcohol, the moment, or him. “I know I made a mistake and I’m really sorry. It was wrong of me.”
- Prepare for his reaction: she might get angry, hurt, cry, scream, or need a break. Respect his emotions. Don’t expect her to forgive you immediately.
- Give him his space: She may need time to process. Give him that time.
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